My Friend, Nirabhra: Digital Dad

This is my coworker and good friend, Nirabhra Das. This photo is from his social media page. Most of the photos he keeps there are not of himself, but of his family, whom he misses dearly, and dreams every day of being united with.

Nirabhra and I have known each other for about six years. We are both software developers, and met online, through a mutual interest in computer games and game development. Nirabhra lives in the city of Kolkata.

Nirabhra and I work together nearly every day of the week - typically using Google Meet or Zoom - while we screen-share our work, send each other helpful how-to's, solve problems together, and otherwise combine our collective efforts into some kind of shape.

Now and then, while we’re discussing our work, or what’s going on in our lives (around the virtual water cooler), Nirabhra will see something important pop up on his phone, which he keeps close by. His family is on the other side of his phone, streaming their lives into his, nearly twenty-four hours a day. Nirabhra's family is his top priority.

Here, Aliana (Yana), his stepdaughter, wanted to say hello.

Here is Nirabhra and Yana saying hello to each other on the phone, when they were both just a bit younger.

Nirabhra's family

Now here is Yana, with her Mum, Almera. They live in the city of Davao. Almera is an artist, and runs her own recycled clothing business. She is planning to work in the video game industry someday, and is teaching herself graphics software with that goal in mind, all while being a full-time mum. Yana has a full-time job being a kid. They’re both exceptional at what they do.

Almera has managed to get Yana to sit still for this photo, which I hear can be challenging sometimes, because Yana has a Great, Big personality. I believe that Yana will change the world someday. What do you think?

Almera and Nirabhra met online about eight years ago (playing the game Clash of Kings, in case you're curious). Their friendship started through a shared interest in computer games, and the social community that it creates among people from all around the world. They have won many quests and battles together, in-game, and in real life!

About five years ago, Almera and Nirabhra became a couple as well. Achievement unlocked! 🏆

Yana has grown up with Nirabhra right there, her whole life. To her, he is just her Dad. He just happens to be, right now, a digital one. She would like to give him a real hug someday soon though, and then have him stay around with her and her Mum while she grows up to do Great, Big Things.

I sneakily snapped a picture of Nirabhra while he was telling me about his hopes to see his family soon. He always lights up when he talks about Almera and Yana. (Almera says Nirabhra needs to get himself a few more shirts!) 

Close, but Far Away

The cities of Halifax, where I am, and Kolkata, where Nirabhra is, are separated by over 7,400 kilometres. Although Nirabhra and I have never once seen each other, except with the assistance of technology, we are real friends, real coworkers who do real work together every day, and are a real part of each other's life journey. We want each other to succeed. We hope to meet in person someday. I believe that we will.

The cities of Kolkata, where Nirabhra is, and Davao, where his family Almera and Yana are, are separated by over 4,300 kilometres. Although Almera and Yana's relationship with Nirabhra has also happened with the assistance of technology, they love one another all the same. They’re a family. They have been through good times, and rough times too. Like any strong family, they have weathered it all, and are looking forward very much to the day they will be able to build a life together in the same place. Imagine that.

These are strange times that we live in. We are all, it seems, more isolated and also more connected than we have ever been. In spite of all the bad news we hear and see around us, and all the fighting and division and uncertainty, our shared world is still, by degrees, changing for the better too. People connect, in spite of odds and distances. It's what we are here to do. 

What you can do to help

So here’s the request. I wish to raise $3000 CAD to help Nirabhra afford a flight to Davao, and then stay there long enough on a visitor’s visa to begin his immigration process, so he can be with his real family, for real, and for good. Maybe with help from a few friends, family, neighbours, and a kind stranger or two, it can happen. There’s no harm in asking.

Almera and Nirabhra have been planning for this move for a long time, and they already know what all the steps are, and in what order, and what the specific and approximate costs will be, and how much extra to have on hand to deal with any and all unforeseen things. They are good planners. They just need some help with the costs.

I know that people can sometimes look at requests for financial help with suspicion. They’ll wonder if this is legitimate. Please believe me when I say that it is. I know Nirabhra and Almera and Yana personally. If you happen to know me, then you happen to know them too. Your support would be a wonderful gift.

Stretch goals ~~~>

If support exceeds the basic expenses, the family may be able to:

- Get some additional furniture and household items

- Take some extra days off to spend time as a family

- Buy tools, materials, and other career level-ups

- Pay it forward into their community

- Get Nirabhra an extra shirt 

Thank you!

I hope you might be able to help this family in some way - with a donation, a share, some practical advice, a kind word, or even a prayer - these are all valuable, and not one will go unnoticed.

Thank you - from all of us - for your valuable time! Stay safe, and have a wonderful 2022. Hug the people closest to you, whenever you get the chance (and permission!) - we should never take those for granted.

💕

Family photos used with permission

Note: if donating via PayPal, your statement will show the name "Mike McGraw".