Mary knows what it feels like to have her life fall to pieces.
But she’s also got experience in putting it back together.
The process of losing everything was a gradual one. It started with a workplace injury that led to turning the job she loved into a constant source of stress. Her physical and mental health failed. Things she used to do with ease became monumental, with each anxiety piling onto the heap of troubles that become her life.
“I just fell apart,” she says. “I couldn’t do a darn tootin’ thing.”
She couldn’t work, had to sell her car and beloved art supplies, was evicted from her apartment and was as close to being homeless as she’d never want to be.
Then, two years ago, when all she had to her name were two sticks of furniture, she was accepted as one of the founding residents at Timbergrove Apartments. “When we moved in everyone got a hamper of food, a laundry hamper and mop, basic furniture, bedding and the nicest beach towel I’ve ever owned. You felt like you could start over.”
Operated by Coast Mental Health, the 50-unit building in a quiet residential neighbourhood in Surrey is a legacy from the 2010 Winter Games. Units that were part of Whistler’s Athletes Village were transfigured to provide housing to people who are coping with mental health issues.
At first, she didn’t like it. While today she appreciates that when she comes home from work there’s a hot dinner waiting for her, she initially resented the idea of lining up at the communal buffet for dinner. (Residents look after their own breakfast and lunch.) She didn’t like the feeling that staff were there to take care of her, and the loss of independence.
“All I did was cry and lay in bed for days and days.”
Slowly, she let the staff into her life. In the beginning, she couldn’t even fathom the idea of “one step at a time”, but gradually, with counseling and practical workshops, she not only relearned basic life skills but, with every goal met, had the confidence to make the next goal even bigger.
“The staff doesn’t judge us. They treat us like everyone else,” she says. “Kindness is so important — and patience and understanding and compassion. You really need someone to talk to who listens. It just takes simple affection.”
Today, she works full-time and owns an old beater of a car that takes her to the mountains she loves to paint.
“I’ve worked really hard. It takes a lot of confidence to go back to society. I learned how to deal with people again…. It’s one of the first times in my life I haven’t felt anxious.”
While she would one day love to have her own place, she’s not sure she’s ready to leave the safety and security that Timbergrove provides. Will the anxieties of being on her own trigger another depression? Will she start to feel overwhelmed again?
“I would rather have a physical disability that a mental disability,” she says, looking back at her life over the past few years. “It’s the hardest thing to get over, but when you do, you’re a different and better person.”
Coast Mental Health is dedicated to reducing the human and economic costs of untreated mental illness. Over the next two years, Coast will be working hard to increase its services within the City of Surrey, a community that vitally needs more resources for people struggling with mental illness and addiction. Coast’s goal is to create more supportive housing, like Timbergrove Apartments, and more outreach services to the community, but this can’t be done without support from the community. You can make a donation here.
