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please help my struggling family
$150 raised
3% of $5k goal
6 contributors
6 Years running

Hello, my name is Renee.Normally I would never ask for help, but being a new mom has made me put aside my pride. I have had to work extremely hard for everything in my life. I grew up in poverty, often times we did not even have food and the only meal I had during the day was the free meal I received at school. I would say that I owe my ability to stretch money as far as it can go to my upbringing.  Unfortunately these last several months have put this skill to a rigorous test and it was a good fight, but I must admit defeat.

I have been with the same company for the majority of my adult life.I even met my wonderful husband Damon during my employment there. He had been terminated over a misunderstanding and has only been able to find temporary seasonal work since. we have been sharing a vehicle and this has added to the difficulty of our situation.there is no public transportation in our small community. i had then begun working feverishly to obtain two promotions. Although it was more money coming in, we were still in poverty, but happily had each other.

I can not tell you how many emotions we had experienced to our discovery that we were now expectant parents! Throughout the course of my pregnancy baby boy was doing great. This however was not the case for mommy. I had begun experiencing various pains that I chalked up to being normal pregnancy pains. My doctor listened to my complaints and had said the same thing at first.

In my third trimester I was pushing myself too hard at work when I should have been taking it easy. I had been trying not to lose my job, because my boss had been writing me up ever since the discovery that I was pregnant.(a whole different story that would require a novel to explain appropriately and thoroughly ) My left leg had developed a terrifying feeling of weighing a ton, accompanied by a sharp pins and needles sensation. My lower back felt as if it was breaking. My entire lower half of my body was in terrible pain. I kept pushing myself,believing that this was somehow normal in pregnancy.

To my dismay I had reached a breaking point. I could no longer lift my leg and had to drag it. My impressive tolerable threshold of pain had been vastly exceeded. I was in tears and had to leave work early to go to the emergency room. I could not even walk by myself to the parking lot, let alone drive the short 15 minutes home. I had to have my sister help me home so that my husband could take me to the hospital.

It was discovered that I had a severe case of sciatica. Sciatica could be as mild as simple discomfort, or as in my situation completely debilitating. The sciatic nerve is the largest nerve in your body, roughly the width of your thumb. The nerve runs from your lower back, through your buttocks, down your legs. If it becomes pinched or inflamed, it can bring you such pain that you do not want to even be conscious.

The hospital explained that the only thing they would be able to do for me would be  prescribing narcotics that they said were safe for me and baby, which I initially refused because of the fear that I would be drugging my baby. Two days later i was in such pain that I had been crying in agony for hours.I had asked my husband to take me to a different hospital. They had given me the same explanation that they could only give me a low dosage of norco. I accepted the offer this time, while feeling excruciatingly guilty.

I did not wish to take these pills throughout the remainder of my pregnancy. They barely did anything for the pain, and my situation was not improving. They were a terrible band aid for my condition. I ended up in a wheelchair for a few months. I could not even get up by myself to use the restroom. My husband waited on me hand and foot. I lived on my couch. I cried constantly in pain, in anger, in fear. I felt miserable, hopeless and useless. I had to do physical therapy twice a week for the rest of my pregnancy.

I had to take a fmla (family medical leave act) leave from work to protect my job. I was very upset because I was already concerned and worried about how we were going to make it financially when I had to be out of work for the birth and recovery of the baby. I initially planned on working up until I went into labor. You only get 12 weeks job protected unpaid fmla leave, and I needed some of that for recovering from childbirth.

I tried going back to work several times while in the wheelchair, but was told no by my employer.I could only return under the condition that I was fully capable of performing my job physically. I was however promised that my position that I had worked so hard to obtain would remain mine if I ran out of fmla leave and had to transition to personal leave, which was not legally protected. With this promise I felt comfortable enough to take out a $1500 personal loan as a last resort so that we could pay rent because our savings accounts have been depleted throughout this ordeal.

I had my wonderful son Adrian naturally on Feb 1st 2014. He weighed 8 lbs 5 oz! and was 20 in long. I have never felt so much love in my entire life. He is my whole world, I am so proud to call him my son. My fmla leave ran out on Feb 12th. I received a call from my boss on Feb 11th explaining that she was not going to hold my position any longer because it was not legally protected. After asking about the promise I received stating they were not going to do this, I was told that I must have misunderstood. This was not true.

My husband has been applying for work at every location he can find. I had to resort to applying for government assistance and although it helps a little, it is not nearly enough to live off of while trying to find employment. We are losing our townhouse, next will be our car. The bills are stacking up and I see no end in sight. If we lose our car then digging ourselves out of this hole will become borderline impossible.

I have struggled my whole life financially, its all Ive ever known. I have worked so hard and it feels as if I was spinning tires on mud. I can never seem to move forward because there is always some unforeseen situation that surfaces causing financial devastation and ruin. Having a new baby has added so much pressure on this particular crisis that I find myself reaching out for the first time in my life. I am not proud to ask for help, I feel as though I am a failure. I would greatly appreciate even a few encouraging words. Please help my family through our struggle. I would gladly accept every penny knowing that there are good caring compassionate people out there.

My husband Damon, and our son Adrian

Our Son Adrian


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