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Help me stay independent through my next steps
$50 raised
2% of $3k goal
1 contributor
3 Years running
I have been fighting a battle to figure out what was wrong with me for over 10 years now. After spending 8 days in a psychiatric facility that treats mostly alcoholics and heroin users, I was treated as such and I was judged as such, and treated ...

I have been fighting a battle to figure out what was wrong with me for over 10 years now. After spending 8 days in a psychiatric facility that treats mostly alcoholics and heroin users, I was treated as such and I was judged as such, and treated as such every time I pushed and pursued to follow my own agenda..My anger and frustration over having to say the same story over and over and over was burning a hole in my bran and I lashed out frequently..Regardless of how bad i felt as the depression deepened I was determined to get those answers one way or another and finally I think I have..Even though the blood tests results won't be until Monday, I know it is positive because the way my body is functioning now, its apparent to everyone I encounter as well.  Unfortunately all of this required time spent not working has left me with no money to provide for myself and I am one week away from being evicted..I have two cats and if I lose them my will to fight will be weakened as I know that pain will never go away over guilt that i should have tried harder. I cannot work right now because my physical body will not allow it and it takes time and energy to go through the state for assistance..I would like to take this time to prepare myself for the battle ahead of me and am only asking for what i need to stay on my own two feet and stay in my own place where I find comfort and peace by spending time with my cats for as long as I can, as I cope with the possibility of losing them.  For the first time in my life I actually unable to work and was fired from my last three jobs because I couldn't keep it together and get angry and lash out at others..I scare others enough that they immediately seperate themselves from me and now I can say I don't blame..I don't want to do this by finding another job where the risks are even higher as I have trouble coping..I have already been diagnosed with Executive Function Disorder believed to be the result of a head injury, Narcolepsy, believed to be something I have had all my life, and now an Auto-Immune Disease, which I believe is now attacking my muscles including my hands, feet and brain.  The test results need to be definitive but my doctors now believe it too and because it has taken so long to be diagnosed, and there is no cure, and treatment could be more difficult in my case.  If you donate, I will accept this willingly and say in advance, that you are helping me by helping my will to fight and fight hard..I do not want to place dependence on this as disappointment and pain will only set me back..I will not monitor this either unless I need money in that moment for reasons already stated..I am doing it this way so that when I do get better and I believe I will, I can thank each and every one you for helping me walk this road alone as I try to find closure from my past. While my facebook page will stay open I will not be checking it or looking at it unless I am struggling and feel this may provide comfort.  The fact that you have taken the time to read this to the end warrants a thank you for your time. I truly appreciate it. April

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