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For those of you who know or knew my Dad, you would
undoubtedly express what a kind, great man he was, and is. He helped
whoever, whenever and wherever he could. The sweetest man in the
world is my father, and a fantastic Dad he was for all 5 of his kids.
Fueled by great ideas always, my Dad had an incredible life in
the music business, doing whatever he could to support our family.
This began in the early 1960’s with Dot Records, and many other
smaller record labels, until in the 70s he got a job at Warner
Brothers Records as a director of promotions. Eventually he gathered
a gold record for Maria Muldaur’s “Midnight at the Oasis” and
travelled with many musicians of that time, including Harry Chapin
(who he travelled to Paris with.) Bread, His secretary was Suzanne,
Ric Ocasek of The Car’s first wife (and both were instrumental in
getting The Cars their record contract.) We lived near Boston at the
time.
He was there when Tom Waits was sending in his demos,
when The Osmonds were all the rage and when Tony Orlando & Dawn
were just seeing the sunrise for the first time.
I remember
going to a cookout once as a girl, my father pointed to a man who
was hanging out. I approached the man, and said “My father said
you’re Jackson Browne, but I don’t believe him.” And of course it
was him, and I felt foolish.
As children we were privy to new records before they were
released, and of course concerts, many, many concerts! KISS in 1976
was great, and there were so many others that we went to with my
Dad- U2 at Woolsey Hall in New Haven, 1983- and so many other great shows.
When my father was laid off from WB, we had a hard time. I
remember the bill collector’s calling and my father dealing with the
guilt of how he would take care of his big family. But my Father did
what he had to do, and happily landed a job at a record distributor
in . “As long as I’m alive, you’ll always have a job.” His boss,
Tommy said to my Dad. Sadly Tom and part of his family died in a
boating accident within a few years.
The struggles and sorrow didn’t deter my Dad – he opened a
record store in our town, and the continued to open 2 more in other
spots.
And then, the 80s happened. He started selling Rock
& Roll memorabilia on the heels of Michael Jackson’s
breakthrough. MJ goods led to other popular artists and we soon
moved from a cellar with his business to a larger office space, and
finally to a large warehouse that had been a dream for my Dad. In
those days glam bands like Poison and the like were selling well,
and we sold them all, from to ZZ Top.
These were the days that
my Dad could help everyone AND DID. When the market went south, he
lost the building and struggled once again. Now, we were all adults
and he’d helped every one of us to carry on in life. He had given me
the inspiration and belief in myself, and taught me hope and kindness.
He & My Mother were married for 50 years, until she passed
5 years ago. Although we’d seen signs of his memory going
previously, it really kicked in when my mom was gone. And it’s been
a heartbreaking and impossibly sad situation since.
I have
spent nearly all of my money to try and keep him at his house,
instead of putting him in a nursing home. This entails round the
clock care, which is averaging about 2000.00 a week, and that’s not
including the food, house payment, and everything else that is
necessary. Suffice it to say, my Sister & I are at our wit’s end
with how we can keep my Dad in the home he worked so hard for his
whole life. I can’t begin to tell you how very difficult this is for
us, to see our father vanishing and being able to do nothing to stop
it. I’m sure it’s the same for most children of Dementia patients,
we’re not the only ones.
I am asking for your help because I believe, whatever you can
donate will be a great help to him. He has never asked for help, and
truly has only offered his help & love to those that needed it.
He doesn’t deserve to live in a cold, lifeless place with strangers.
He loves music still and will sing along to classic rock whenever
the radio is on. I treasure these moments. I don’t care if I have
enough money to get new shoes or go on vacation, what matters is
that my Dad stays where he is for as long as it takes – until he
loses that memory of where he is. It’s not fair, and a lot of life
is unfair I realize, but if I can do something to make the end of my
Father’s life better, I will. Please help me to achieve this. I am
eternally grateful.
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