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The Accidental Ex-Patriot
Imagine being stuck in Italy, unable to come home to USA?
Ann had a tough start, losing her mother and father at a very
young age and then moving and changing several foster homes until she
was finally placed for adoption in May 1981, at almost 6 years old.
Although she was adopted by a good family who raised her well, she had
a sufferance inside which she could not seem to be freed of even with
all of the phychologic and spiritual attempts made buy her adoptive
parents. She thought she would find her happiness, joy, comfort and
healing by being independent and made several which obtained that
independence at an early age. She always worked, but never stopped her
search for happiness which, for many years, she found in all of the
wrong things... things that never truly satified anyway (sex, drugs,
alcohol, money, popularity, etc. etc.). In the long run, she made
several poor choices in her youth, some of which would have long term
consequences. After hitting 'rock bottom', she decided to search for
help in Alcoholics Anonymous. In June of 1999, she made a decision to
ask for help. Her effort to get her life together was 100% and (to
this day, by the grace of God) she never went back. However, this road
was very solitary and very diffulcult. She made new friends, got a new
job and she even started a new relationship with her adoptive parents
that year but the void inside persisted...
In September 2000, Ann was invited to go on vacation to Medjugorje, Bosnia Herzegovina with her adoptive parents who had previously kicked her out of the house and she had gone more than a year without even calling at one point. During that pilgrimage, she discovered the Community Cenacolo and decided that she wanted to 'try it out'. She did not return home from that vacation but, after saying good-bye to her adoptive parents, chose to get into a van with a bunch of Italian friends of the community (who didn't speak a word of English) and traveled about 16 hours to start to 'encounter' the community that had attracted her so. She had instructed her adoptive mother on who to call and try to explain her choice, how to sell her brand new Black Ford ZX2 and how to pack up or give away everything she had aquired over the years and had in her 2 story townhouse in Florida (cats included), which she loved and had been renting from a friend in AA. Ann had entered AA only 18 months earlier and, although she loved her new life after the college trip run wild of her younger years, something was missing. The community kids seemed to have that something... and, as her sponsor had always advised her, "You must stick with people who have what you want". Her plan was to to remain 3-6 months and get what they had. A series of events changed Ann's life forever and, after some time, she found herself actually 'stuck' in Italy.
This is how that occurred: Ann's adoptive mother passed away
suddenly in July of 2001 as they were eagerly planning her return home
to enjoy their new relationship. For a series of reasons, at that
moment in time, Ann was not even able to return for Jan's funeral.
With her adoptive father's help, she was able to come home 6 months
after her adoptive mother's death. This was the first time she was
able to return since her 'vacation'. She spent long hours speaking
with her adoptive father and he made it very clear to her that he
believed she should 'keep walking' in community and that it was what
her mother would have wanted. He said that Jan was proud of her when
she passed away and that was something she has waited her entire life
to hear. She also felt like she had unfinished work to do on herself.
She looked for some of her old friends on that trip and just about
everyone she searched for had either moved or changed their phone
numbers. She decided to return for a bit... may be a few more months.
She met Pier Angelo the week after she returned from that trip.
They became very good friends right away. She was quite scared as she
saw that 'friendship' growing because he is Italian and had a few
serious health problems. She didn't understand why God would have
prepared such a challenging person for her, a young woman who believe
she was incapable of true love and would have never gotten married.
She felt that God 'trusted her too much' when giving her this cross
and she spent a lot of time crying in the chapel and asking God to
make His will clear. They 'dated' while living in separate houses of
the community for about 1 1/2 years. They left the community in July
of 2003 to get to know each other better in Italy and got married in
Italy in May of 2004. Ann would proceed to live the next 10 years of
her life without anyone in it who spoke her native language. Talk
about independence! This was the test. In order to find a job she went
to 2 1/2 years of school to earn an National Italian CNA/HHA
Qualification (equivalent) and has been doing Home Health Care (in
Italian) since May 2006. They had their daughter, Emily, in October
2007. She has always bravely made the best of her situation and
created a life for herself in Italy, but one thing has remained with
her all this time: her longing to come home to America. Ann has
worked, and continues to work, very hard towards this goal. She has
reorganized their finances and made a habit of sacrifice, so that all
of their personal debts will be paid off in 2015. She has had a
propane gas implant put in her 6 year old car so that she can save on
gas mileage and avoid a car payment. In 2010, they moved closer to
work also to save money on gas. They had a huge strike of luck in 2013
and were even been able to buy an apartment at a very affordable cost
with more than a 100% mortgage loan (saving the expense of throwing
money away on rent). She is hoping that it will raise in value and
that they will be able to sell when it's time to move. She has also
started a piggy bank where she puts all of her change, holiday gifts,
the money she earns doing English lessons and the spare change she
steals from her husband's pocket while doing laundry ;) Emily is
American-Italian with all of her documents in order and they have
started the procedure for Pier Angelo's USA documents. They just need
to have another 470 euro and an idea of a transfer date before making
the next step of medical examinations and a trip to the embassy in
Naples, Italy. However hard she works, the goal remains very distant.
Most of the time, it just seems unattainable. So, Ann took a very bold
step outside of her comfort zone in 2012, and created a FB page asking
for help. Can you help? Not everyone can help financially, but you can
still lend your support! 'Liking' and 'Sharing' the page, helps get
the word out. Who knows who is out there that could and would want to
help her? You just never know. Her first goal was to be able to at
least visit home, as it had been 9 years since she's been able to
return. That goal, thank God and good friends, was reached in November
of 2012. Her current goal is to return again in October-November 2015
because she has recently found her natural mother who is very sick and
lives in Miami, Florida. She would like to meet her and give her a
long awaited hug! Her ultimate goal would be to transfer, especially
now that she has also found several other members of her naturally
family too. The transfer will take a bigger miracle but, needless to
say, she has faith.
"It will be 15 years this September since I went on that
vacation without returning and, the last two years before my trip in
November 2012, I had wanted to come home badly enough to be literally
sick over it. I hadn't been able to come home in 9 years! This is just
an idea that came to mind.
With the economic crisis that has
struck, I have become just like your average Italian who dreams of
America... and it really does seem impossible and unfair at times. It
was certainly a gift to visit, but my ultimate goal/dream remains to
move home. I am more anxious than ever about my transfer and really
feel like the time is getting closer now that I've found my Mom, Verna Jean."
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