I am a middle aged woman whose life started out in abuse. Through my teen years it continued, until I finally was able to leave the ugliness of the family ways. I broke the chain of abuse, but I think I went to the extremes. I have been trying to help humans and animals alike since I freed myself from the abuse, only to become the abused. I have a handicapped son who I gave and gave to, gave to the point that he now believes everyone owes him. This behavior of mine also went into my marriages. I seemed to attact the needy, and when they got what they wanted, my life became hell. They took and took until there was nothing left to take. So here I sit after yet another failed marriage..I watch my soon to be ex wooing his next victim already after a few short months. The morning that he left, my vehicle just so happened to be destroyed. Took almost everything I had to get it to barely run. My vehicle was not only destroyed but I stood there and watched him take things that belonged to me. I had to move, took more of what little bit of money I had left.

Now I have nothing left, my health is going down hill quickly due to all the stress...I have no car, I have a phone that my son broke, I am about to be homeless..I have nothing left. I just want to love life again, and cannot seem to find a way to do it with my health failing. If I would be able to go to bed at night, not worrying when the next ball was going to drop, or where the money would come from to pay the next bill that was coming in, I might feel better when I get up in the morning. If I could smile during the day, and not have to worry about everytime I go to the refrigerator that there wasnt enough food in it...If I could be able to love life again.

I would never normally ask for myself, but I have nothing else to lose. My smile is gone, my vehicle barely runs, my phone doesnt work half the time, and I am going to be homeless..just dont know where the will to go on is going to come from. I have money come in every month and it is enough to cover my expenses, but because of having to try and undo all the taking, playing catch up has put me in this situation. The love of life is gone. I DO NOT WANT TO BE THE ABUSED ANYMORE...I just want my smile back? I know you dont know me from adam. but I am a good person. Just a person that is tired of giving and giving..tired of being the abused. Can you please help me find my smile?