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Since the show, all four girls involved in Alicias attack have been sentenced and are still in the Juvenile Detention Center, as far as we know. I moved my family an hour away and back to the small town where I was born and raised. Since that time, well actually, for the past few months, things have gone from what seemed to be alright, to a fight just to keep Alicia alive. Peers at her new school have made negative comments to her about her being on the show and have made fun of her. She tried so hard to keep "it together".
Alicia changed after the attack. She slowly started withdrawing and focused so much of her time on her appearance. She starting questioning ANY friendships that she has formed. Alicia started to mutilate her body. Six weeks ago, after attempting to hang herself, Alicia was hospitalized. She had been diagnosed, thus far, with BDD (body dysmorphic disorder) as well as severe depression. She has completely disconnected herself with life. In the past six weeks she has been home a total of four days. Alicia was readmitted again yesterday. The rehospitalization yesterday was because she had to be taken to the hospital by ambulance for mutilating her body. She has close to fifty cuts. From her knees to her thighs, stomach, arms and legs, as well as hips. The word "fat" has been carved into both of her outer thighs. She is adamant about not wanting to be here anymore. Here, meaning, in this world. She feels that she serves no purpose here. She feels that
she is ugly and fat. The way she sees herself is distorted and definitely not how others see her. She will continue to try to take her life, until she succeeds. The only way to keep her safe is to keep her in the hospital. Until of course, they make her leave because of insurance reasons.
I am doing all that I can to keep Alicia alive. It is a struggle to say the least. My biggest problem is insurance. Our coverage is so limited. It will cover these hospitalizations. But Alicia desperately needs long term residential care. Insurance will NOT cover that. I have looked into Residential Treatment Centers for BDD and unfortunately there are very few. The few that I have found are either located in the midwest or on the west coast. And quite honestly my insurance would never cover something like that and I would never be able to afford it. All in all I am desperate to find help for my daughter or even advice on what avenues I can take to be led in the right direction. There is one clinic here in Rhode Island that the hospital contacted to try to get Alicia into but they said that Alicia was too young for their program. So we tried to get the head of the clinic to see Alicia one on one and she agreed. She then informed us that she does
not accept our insurance and therefore would not be able to help. (this Dr. is a renowned Dr. with regards to knowledge of BDD)
Alicia is such an amazing, beautiful, kind soul. I want only the best for her. As a parent I can't just sit back and let the insurance company decide whether my daughter lives or not. I love her so very, very much and want to get her the help she needs. She is only 13 and has so much living to do! If I don't find Alicia help I know that she will not make it to her next birthday. We, as a family, are struggling with this and desperately need some guidance.
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