I’ve titled my fundraiser, ‘Teach My Apples How to Roll’, because I think the title offers a quick glance into my commitment to achieve what might seem impossible. Generally when people say, “The apple doesn’t fall too far from the tree”, they are acknowledging the sometimes inevitable likeness in a parental relationship. There are definitely some similarities between my Apples (children) and me; but I am in a chapter of life that requires me to create a space for them to roll and tell their own respective stories.

I’ve been working 80 hours a week, with Sundays clocking in as the most grueling. It’s the one day that requires me to press through a whopping 18 hours straight to fulfill my undeniable responsibilities as a mother; and is just a small part of the terms and conditions, I remember being all too excited about each time I entered the birthing room and heard “PUSH”!!!

New Year’s Day of 2010 I woke up in a pool of blood which required a blood transfusion. I lost massive amounts of weight and was placed on a number of medications to pile the weight back on, stop the hemorrhaging and decrease my stress. My thyroid is shot; I’ve recently developed Angioedema and been in need of minor surgery since August of 2013.

I’ve been trudging forward, with little time to sleep - the quality of my relationship with my children has been greatly compromised by my fear of dropping the ball and falling further behind. I am single Mother that made promises to their emotional, spiritual, physical and academic well beings. The thought of not keeping my word is unacceptable to me…and it is this very attitude that has caused my body to develop a very reasonable resentment – its been pressed way too hard for way too long.

At one point I worked three jobs for ninety days. At the time it seemed to me an opportunity to offer my household a stimulus, balance out past due fees and experience a much needed sigh of relief. Unfortunately, the company never paid me the $10,700.00 they owe me. They have been slapped with a number of lawsuits and continue their business under a new name. I would love to hire legal counsel to resolve this matter and a pending divorce I am currently undergoing.

While what doesn’t kill you will make you stronger - I am so over all the pain this has caused. Not the pain of working, but the pains of not being able to balance hard work with creating memories that invite my children to be empowered by joy. I desire distance from the struggle.

I’ve always worked hard – two jobs? No problem! Even during a time when I resided in a two income household. Unbeknownst to me, my husband was secretly planning to walk out on us. It happens – and it did. His concealment provided him an opportunity to plan his transition and left me scrambling. The big reveal came late at night – my children immediately looked to me for answers.

Without having to reference the birthing agreement I quickly dove into myself. Desperately trying to figure out what courses of actions I needed to take to keep my two children believing in what I knew – we’d make it! While I am not at all opposed to blazing through the challenges of life, I am a defiant spirit when it comes to our collective responsibilities to our children.

The Goal I am hoping to raise $15,000.00. These funds will allow me to acquire counsel for my two cases, correct much needed car repairs and finally get a minor surgery I’ve put off since last August of 2013. My children, their existence in my life, are undeniably the creator’s way of certifying my belonging in the world…and grateful does not come close to describing how honored I feel for this journey.

Many thanks for your time and please Remember to respect the living.