One of the greatest fears for any parent, is having to say goodbye to a child. It is even more difficult, when it is a child who has passed on, sadly this is our reality as we gather today, to say farewell to a truly beautiful human, a sister, an aunty, a daughter, my little princess, Kirsten.

This is by far one of the hardest times of my life and the hardest thing I have ever had to deal with. There are simply no words to describe the pain and sorrow I am feeling, but I believe that these words will describe my princess in a way that I imagine she would want to be remembered.

Kirsten was truly an amazing human. From when she was a little girl, she had the innate ability to always make her presence known, by being a shining light in the room. From her days as a baby to her final days as a youth, she loved to be the centre of attention and made it known. I remember her taking control of the sweets for a party, she sat and guarded them, and no one was allowed near saying that they were hers and everyone knew it. As she grew older, she became a little humbler and already showed signs of always wanting the best for others, but she still wanted to have her presence felt. She strived to be somebody extra special, not realising she already was. She was an amazing human and everyone who that knew her will attest to this fact.

In primary school she had already had an impact on the lives of people and maintained this special gift into high school, where she influenced the lives of even teachers and continued to even influence my life as well as many others around the country and even the world, right up until that tragic day. Even though I never expressed it, she made me so proud because she really wanted the very best for people.

Kirsten was also a stubborn, steadfast lady in her final years, giving me a really hard time and causing me some serious headache and heartache, but let me tell you that Kirsten seriously knew when to listen to me as her HERO. The sad part of making me her hero, led to her demise and she would be with someone who would take her on a path to an abortion, abuse and eventually her passing. She really had a very difficult time with boys and got super attached to them. I believe that this was her weakness. She had the strength to overcome anything in this world, but she could not control how she felt about me and the male species in general.

I do not want her to be remembered for her weakness, so I will reflect more on her friends. In almost every single video and post I have seen and story I have read in the past two weeks, tells me that when it came to her female friends and her truly loyal male friends, she seemed to go above and beyond to ensure they were happy and smiling. Literally, every single photo saw her smiling, videos with a drink in hand or been a clown, but one thing is for certain, there was happiness all around. She was the life of the party at the best of times and this is how many will remember her. There was so much more to this little princess of mine.

When it came to family, Kirsten had one family and she resented me for this failure until the day she left us. This family were the McGillivray’s. Kelly, Sian, and Myles. My kids never had much until we united as a family and together, Kelly and I raised these kids for almost nine years, but what stood out the most was the fact that Kelly was her mother, the person who raised her and taught her things I would never be able to, Sian became a sister that she never had and Myles the brother she never had and although we had many family feuds, Kelly, Sian, and Myles, Kirsten really considered you her family and really and truly loved you guys. I know she was sorry for the fall out on the holiday and for not asking for permission to wear your stuff Sian. There were problems, but she loved you guys.

Sasha, Ashley, and the rest of the family, I know that you never really played as much of a role in her life due to circumstances but the parts she loved the most was when there was peace and harmony, where she could really enjoy the company of her mother, brother, and family. I know she loved you guys and I believe Lala would want us all to remember the good times.

In some of her final years at school, Kirsten seriously struggled with bullies, failing and the poor behavior that stemmed from being bullied. This sadly was one of her struggles and I know that her plans for 2021 was to get her matric and move ahead in life, because she struggled and I honestly believed her, because she was truly a strong human and wanted to be a super successful career woman. She sadly never saw her 21st birthday and unfortunately, she will never know what it is like to be successful, so I have a special something to be released in your honour this year my princess. You will see your success from heaven.

In 2019, I moved to Cape Town for work after suffering some great losses and Kirsten had two people at the time who would be her support system in my absence. Jessicca her sister and my beautiful granddaughter Chloe. Without these two being there for her, I am not quite sure where the road would have taken Kirsten, but perhaps this is where it all went wrong. I look back at it now and I feel that I abandoned my kids and although she never showed it, Kirsten was sad that I left, but she would not say a single negative thing to me and would rather wish me happiness and be glad that I had a job.

The positive thing that happened in my absence is that Jessicca and Kirsten would create a real sisterly bond. One that was missing between the two of them growing up. One of the last messages from Kirsten to me was that she would be spending time with Jessicca this festive season, which meant a lot to me and I know for a fact that it meant a lot to her, because she would not be alone.

Unfortunately, her timely passing was on a day of celebration, but it will become a very difficult time of year, because our beautiful Kirsten was taken from us on the day my granddaughter was born. BUT it is important to know that the undying love she had for Chloe would mean this day should not be a day of mourning, but in fact a celebration of Chloe and Kirsten’s undeniable love they had for each other.

In 2020, Kirsten would become a sad adult because I was not around. I would be in a foreign country with my now wife Elena. Kirsten and Elena spent many days alone together in Cape Town and they formed a special bond. Kirsten seemed genuinely happy for me and constantly said I deserved to be happy. When she found out that she would one day have a baby brother or sister, she cried but was exceptionally happy. Kirsten really wanted to join us, and what Kirsten did not know, was that we had already started making plans for her to join us here in Russia. It was merely some red tape that we had to sort out and a little more time and she would have been here. Sadly, I regret not being able to move quicker to get her to me, where she would have been able to go to university and make a name for herself. This all happened so quickly and now she will never get to meet her brother or sister or experience another adventure like making butterflies in the snow.

To have lost my princess, is heart-breaking – it has come as such a shock to us all. The fact that I will never be able to speak to her again, call her name, hug her, or tell her I love her, is the most painful experience in the world. Her life on this earth and with the people who she loved was far too brief.

I wish to express my heartfelt thanks to all those who have given their support, compassion, and love throughout this very difficult time. I know in my heart that she would not want us to grieve for too long. Rather, Kirsten would want us all to remember the good times we all shared.

Goodbye, my princess. You will live in my heart and all our hearts forever.

Pops really loves and misses you man.

Rest in Peace Princess