I am going to do my best with this post. Considering that I have been crying for the past 24 hours, it is going to be extremely hard. Tuesday started as a normal day for us. Got Haleigh up and ready for speech therapy. Got a text from friends that were taking their sweet son Jagger to the Zoo and they asked if Haleigh wanted to come. Oh how exciting! Haleigh loves the zoo! I got Haleigh in the car when I got a call from a number that I didn't recognize. I let it go to voice mail because getting Haleigh in the car seat was more important. I got the notification that I had a message. As I started down the road I listened to the voice mail and it was Brian. But why is calling me on a different number? I called the number back and got Brian after a few rings. What he said will haunt me forever. "Our house is on fire. The fire department is here and I will call you as soon as things settle down. Love you." Now to calm everyone, NO ONE WAS hurt. I didn't really get the chance to ask many questions. I missed the green light and had drivers honking at me as I hung up the phone. I thought it was a horrible joke. I looked back at Haleigh who had the biggest smile on her face. She was going to the zoo. Oh Haleigh...I called my friends and told them what happened as my hands just shook. The Zoo was going to have to wait. I don't remember how we got back home. Everything is really a blur. I know I sat and waited anxiously for Brian's call. It felt like an eternity. I couldn't take it anymore. I called the number Brian called me from. When Brian got to the phone I found out that this was not a horrible joke. Brian told me that everything was destroyed. The house is a total loss. My heart dropped. I wasn't there so this is what I got from Brian. I am still not sure how accurate it is. I tried to listen to every word but it hurt so much to hear it. Brian was out cutting the grass when a passers-by saw flames coming out of the front windows. We are still not sure how it started. Brian is supposed to meet with the insurance company tomorrow to investigate. We have nothing left. Everything is gone. I drove myself crazy last night as I went through each room in my mind. I thought of everything that was in there. I know it is all material stuff but it was our stuff that we worked so hard to get. But the thing that absolutely brings me to tears is I feel as if I have lost Haleigh again. I can point out every "first" Haleigh had in that house. I would look at those spots and just smile. I would go sit in her room when the day had been rough and just feel the HOPE all around me. The rocking chair that I spent many sleepless nights rocking Haleigh and singing to her. It is all gone. This morning I didn't want to get out of bed. I wanted to just lay here and cry. But I didn't. I some how found the strength to get out of bed and start a new day. Haleigh had tons of big smiles today and I put on my smiley face even though I was absolutely dying inside. I called Brian a few times and tried so hard to hold it together. Brian told me not to be sad. He really needed me to be strong right now. I am 1400 miles away from the one person who could take some of this hurt from my heart. 1400 miles from a hug that could help make things feel a little better. The shock has worn off and now there is a lot of anger and so much pain. When will we get a chance to take a breath? I just need a chance to breathe!!! Please hold our little family in your prayers. We could surely use them right now. Our travel plans are having to change. Brian is not going to be able to get out here Friday because he will have to deal with insurance. This means Haleigh and I will not be flying back on August 3rd. We can't come home, we no longer have a home. Brian, you are one courageous husband. You have been there everytime I needed a hug or just someone to hold my hand. We will get through this. It will not be easy, but we will get through it. We love and miss you so much. Keep the prayers coming. The next few days could be some of the hardest we have endured. Lots of love to you all- Brian, Janéa, Haleigh, Mr. Bear, Toby and Kala Hope