This will be a very for me, but it needs to be put out there. I have a huge heart, and I have made some major mistakes in my life. Major, but none that I could not erase and make better. I have done nothing illegal in my life, just my "way of thinking, loving and caring" mistakes.
I have gotten myself into a huge pickle because of this. I have a son, whom in the past I was ashamed to speak about, but now with a group that I am involved in, I have come to learn it is nothing to be ashamed about. Many say that I should not put out personal situations, but I feel honesty is the best. I also must put out there, that when times are stressful, they are doubly stressful because of what was going on in my home life. First and utmost important...the HORSES HAVE NEVER KNOWN, they have always had, they have always had their needs met. 
I made sure that I did the best that I could for them, and I will continue to continue on my life's journey...saving horses, when I can, and where I can. 
My situation is now, a new beginning, a new journey..I have GOT to get over this HUGE hurdle first...and yes, I need help doing it...SEE...NO FALSE PRIDE...I AS A PERSON NEED SOME HELP...
These last few weeks have been so hard. I moved almost alone...I would say 75% of this move was done in jeep and with a trailer that was loaned to me...I lifted boxes, I moved boxes, and I pushed and pulled boxes. The other 25% was done by volunteers that helped Ohana Rescue...they helped with stalls, fencing, gates, feed room, RV...so maybe I should change the percentages...not sure, but you get the picture..Three weeks ago, I was robbed, stolen from, and not proud of this, because this is one of my major mistakes...my way of thinking, caring mistakes...You see, I was robbed by my son. I should have stopped trying to be the kind of mother that thought..LOVE CAN CURE ALL, because it doesnt...in cases like this it must be TOUGH LOVE..Many of my loved ones suffered, because I did not put my foot down, I was too ashamed to admit there was a problem, so I would try and handle it alone..those that I loved, would walk away, because they felt I was defending my son, NO!! I WAS DEFENDING my being ashamed and not being able to admit that my son had a serious issue. My son is mentally handicapped to start off with, then with hand reconstructed, pain pills, knee rebuilt...pain pills. pain management...pain pills, add the two together...DISASTER...wrecked lives, stolen items...I have went to the courts, I have no idea how many times, they put him in hospital for 3 days...3 DAYS, THAT IS JUST LONG ENOUGH TO MAKE THEM MAD...out they come...and need drugs more to make up for three days of none...
So that being admitted to all...the story continues...and once again..I am not ashamed anymore, and to those that want to bash or ridicule me for being honest...just add being a family member of an addict to your prayers...THAT YOU NEVER SUFFER BECAUSE OF IT...because it is not a disease that only the addict suffers from, BUT the family as well...The abuse that I have been suffering though, I would not wish it on ANY one, the name calling, your items being trashed, your belongings going missing..you just want to crawl into a hole and pull dirt over your head..it is horrific..and to suffer it alone because those that you thought cared, didnt want to stick around..So here I am with a personal bank account that looks like a basketball court...bouncing fees all over...monies that was supposed to pay this, not there...monies to pay that, not there...I MUST SAY THIS IS MY PERSONAL ACCOUNT....a few weeks ago, I posted I was starting a new journey...my new journey consists of...I am no longer my sons legal guardian, I will no longer be my sons payee after this month, so social security will no longer be involved in my life..I, in making this move for the most part alone, have come to realize, that while I am slower then I used to be, I can still maintain....
My biggest issue right now is trying to get my personal bank account back to positive and to make up all the monies that was not used for the intended purposes..My parents, knowing and seeing just how bad the abuse was, have helped me get a vehicle, so I am not sitting here with no way to get groceries for myself or the horses...I have had friends drive me to get horse food and such, but I cannot depend on my friends all the time...I have given and given in life, and I am praying that some might see and understand the dilemma I WAS in and lend a hand up...if you would like to help ME, I can promise you that I will try and repay anything back in a timely manner...in writing this LONG status, I will put out, my heart is broke in two...I love all of my sons equally, but I DO NOT love the pain that comes with having a son that is an addict...the pain is SO BAD, because there is nothing I can do but pray that it is jail and not a coffin that he ends up in....last I heard he was going to miami..now on a smaller note...add this to the stress of moving, taking care of horses, dogs, making sure they havent missed a link...getting bashed on FB, by those that have no idea just what I was going through........I CAN PUT OUT THIS STATEMENT WITH SOUND MIND....The Lord must have something really special planned for me, because I still remember my name and birthday...I havent lost my mind. God is Good..If you would like to help ME as a person, not the horses, but ME, because I am something other then a rescue, I am a child of God, get back on both my feet, my email address is cyoungcarryou@yahoo.com...
one more thing, please....when you see a homeless person on the streets, please think again, they are someone's child, or parent, and addiction is a disease, that the world needs to understand just a bit more..it is not the addicts fault that they have the disease.