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8/12/18
We have friends willing to help in whatever ways they can, but ultimately keeping my child fed and safe is the goal. Every penny will go to that end, no matter what this fundraiser seems to appear as to others. Her needs, her safety, and keeping her living with me is the ultimate goal.
*Right now if you are on Facebook, a dear friend is offering in auction a Dooney&Bourke handbag, brand new valued in retail for $298. Every penny she gets for this handbag she is donating to our fund. Look for Tina Villaviray here on the page, or on Facebook, if this idea appeals to you.
EDIT: This lovely woman has offered to make custom child hoodies, up to child size 12, for donations of $40 dollars toward THIS fundraiser. If you look for Tina Villaviray on here or on Facebook, she can talk to you more about what you will receive.
*Eric Rolph, my partner and the most loving and wonderful man I have ever known, has offered his crafting skills in return for any moneys you may be able willing to part with in exchange for leather working, sewing crafts, strong man lifting, and foam weapon games creations.
8I myself am a reasonably decent writer, and a very fast typist. I can offer my writing skills in reviewing resumes, short stories, articles, and school papers in exchange for funds you may be willing to part with.
Truthfully, any thing you can come up with helps. Any LOAN can be paid back within approximately a year. Any donations will be met with our eternal thanks and many photos of our family and Madision happy and playing in her new home, as well as invites to come visit us there so we can shower you with gratitude.
*If you donate, of course you can come to the wedding! :)
Yes I sound desperate. We ARE desperate. I have alienated friends and family over this, people who think this kind of public 'begging' is shameful. Honestly we were at the point of possible homelessness a year ago, but thought we had worked out a plan. We failed at that plan. But with your help here, you can help us recover and get back to a life of joy and loving, and raising a wonderful child with hope for her developing a better future.
We have had many kind people help, and message with ideas. But we are far away from our goal. Lets not kid ourselves - its a big goal. This started out with a year of planning and trying and bidding on this house, only at the last minute to come up against a change from the seller that they would not accept anything but cash, and for us to get the kind of loan that would cash them out, we need a down payment. We thought we had all this covered, so that when our rent increased we were safely going to be in our new house. But things cascaded while this fundraiser was open: our rent increased beyond our ability to manage, the legal fee's on a court custody case that should have never started have buried us, and the date creeps closer that we will be forced out on the street. If I had other ideas on what to do, we would be doing it. The housing market in this area has climbed into the stratosphere, and the rental market has skyrocketed to match. Again, by my parenting agreement if I rent I have to stay in the same district my child currently lives in: that offers no financial change from the house we are currently on the verge of being unable to survive in. If we buy a home however, our legal advice is that we can go further outside of the school district (because a bought home is an improvement in her life) as long as we stay within a certain travel distance. That distance BARELY puts us outside of Pierce County, and in no way exceeds King or even into Snohomish. Our options are limited by time, by finances, by the courts.
Frankly, I am terrified. I've been homeless before and lived in a tent for a while. I cant imagine that the same people who let me live in a tent for a few months in summer 10 yrs ago, would agree to that or more now, with a child who has Maddys' specific needs, in the middle of approaching winter.
I am a good....no I am a GREAT mother. I cant help that the cost of our home was increased by our landlord before we could find a place safer to move on to. I cant help that the housing market is insane here in WA. But I can help my child remain safe, and loved, and will do so with every penny and every minute of my days until someone forces me away from her. And if that means I 'shame' myself by begging for help from strangers on the internet, then here I am - begging. PLEASE HELP US.
8/7/18
I've gotten the site to edit. If you are following this story, we have been researching any and all options to purchase this home. We have a lender, but they require 20% down to help us. People have suggested we move on to another house, but most houses that qualify for zero down loans are more than we can afford, and those that are in our price range are usually very old, further away than my parenting plan allows, or in terrible school areas - often all three. This house we found is a genuine treasure for us. Its perfect in every list we could make of things we both need and want in a home. Anyone willing to even LEND us the 20% would get paid back as quickly as possible - we just need that tiny little extra step up to get our lives in the right direction. Please, if you know someone or you think you can help in some way, reach out. Help give Maddy a safe, loving, healthy permanent home to grow up in.
8/5/18
I have tried to edit this fundrazr to reflect the true dollar amount we need, but the site either wont let me or I do not understand it. So again, we are only seeking enough to pay our legal fee's and make a down payment on the house we are committed to buying. That equals $40,000. But anything you guys can do to help is a blessing. Maybe you know a charity that will help pay legal fees. Maybe you know an investor who is looking at buying or flipping homes, who might buy our home and finance it privately to us. Maybe that person is you. Think outside the box my friends, we are!
Our home we love is still available, but only barely. Someone again has made an offer on the house, but we have a little time still to get our offer in. Please help us make this delightful home we have fallen in love with our refuge for Maddy, and for us.
7/29/18
Our situation just became critical today. Our landlord just raised our rent $200 dollars more a month, which happens to be $100 more than I make in a month. Things are getting tighter financially than I could have ever anticipated. Those of you who have donated, we could not be more grateful. Those of you who have shared and been supportive - thank you so much! Please do not stop sharing! We could use any and all help you can provide friends.
7/22/18
Short of a miracle, this fundrazar is the only way we can improve our lives and provide a safer living environment for our severely autistic child. Thank you to everyone who has shared, and donated to our cause so far!
7/19/18
We had a small scare over the weekend: the house we are in love with almost sold! But good for us - the sale fell through. We are so grateful for all the sharing, support, and donations coming our way. We love you all and could not do this without you!
7/14/18
Thank you so much to those who are sharing, forwarding, and contributing to our cause. All the love we are receiving, with or without donations, is so uplifting.
7/11/18
Questions and Answers!
We have received some questions in private messages, and if one is asking its possible many are asking. See the answers below.
Q: How did you come up with your financial goal?
A: We started with the idea that miracles can happen. The asking price of the home we love is $175K. Our legal team's debt is running about $5K a month, since March. There would be moving costs, and minor repairs or set up fees on the new house. So we asked for the 'miracle amount' of $200K.
However, the least of what we realistically need is the down payment - $40K to secure the home and begin our move.
Anything over the $40K amount will be used toward reducing the ongoing, growing, legal debt.
Q: Are there other ways to donate, not using the Fundrazr website?
A: Yes! Eric and I both have pay-pal accounts, you can write checks, and everybody likes cash.
Any little bit helps!
Feel free to send us your questions, we are always happy to answer.
E,M,T
7/9/18
Eric, Maddy and I are in a tough situation.
In October of last year, Maddys father did something that her Doctors and therapists agreed was neglectful and possibly sexually abusive. I limited her contact with him to supervised visits, but that was not enough for him and he got a lawyer and took me to court.
We were forced to hire a lawyer of our own to defend my child’s rights and safety, and that court case is dragging on – with significant set backs on our part as the judge has ordered temporary visitation without supervision for Maddy and her father. This was a blow emotionally.
Worse is the financial burden this is putting on us. Both Eric and I are disabled. We live on a fixed income. I had to borrow money from family just to get a retainer for my lawyer, and that was already spent within the first month. My lawyer had been kind enough to allow me to make payments for a while, but the debt is now extremely deep.
Add on to that, the judge ordered me to pay 50% of all the investigation services (Guardian Ad Litem, etc) that HIS legal team asked for. Then, the judge LOWERED the child support I was being paid, reducing our liquid income even further.
Outside of this, is the fact that our rent is very high. We were only JUST making it each month without bouncing or borrowing, and we had been looking to move for a while. However, if you are paying any attention at all, you know the cost of living and renting or buying in King and Pierce County is extremely high. Just a small apartment is asking a higher rent than we pay now for our rental house.
Moving only for the sake of lowering our rent is not considered by the courts a reasonable improvement for the child’s best interests and I was advised not to do so. If we moved to a rental, and the judge determined it was not justifiable, I could be ordered to move back to her school district and as close to my previous location as possible. The further we moved away from her father, the more likely I would be ordered back.
However, it was suggested that if we buy a house, THAT is often considered a significant improvement on its own, and it also would lower our monthly output from a high rent to a lower house payment. It would be legally justifiable to the courts as an improvement.
We could move further away than if we rented, as long as her father had reasonable access for visitations, and by itself a PURCHASED house offers significant improvements for Maddy’s overall needs by being a permanent residence to build roots and grow within a community. It offers stability, and structure, things that are very important to her growth with her special needs.
I found that house. It’s everything Maddy, Eric, and I need. It’s affordable. It’s adorable. It’s close. The environment is better, the neighborhood is better, the home is overall better than where we are living now. It meets Maddy’s daily needs, and then some.
We only needed a down payment, and I had three loans willing to help us get in.
Sadly, we could not get the down payments, no matter what we did or who we begged or how we tried to sell or to borrow.
So now we are stuck. Living in a rental that is too expensive for us, literally 600 yards from Maddys father (he may have been granted visits, but he is still the same person who abused me for over 10 yrs. and stalked and harassed all three of us for months while this was beginning).
I have legal bills to pay. I have debts coming from this legal action that may make it impossible to pay rent. Without the lawyer, I could easily loose custody of my child. I cannot move away to another rental without high risk of being fined and ordered to return, and possibly face custodial interference charges, which are a felony, and that would be a bigger hairy mess than we are in now.
The answer was so close. Just a small deposit and we could have improved so much of our lives. They wanted $40K for a deposit to loan us the rest of the purchase price, but at this point any significant amount might help buy the house, or at the VERY least pay the legal fee’s looming over us to keep us from being evicted.
Also, while we haven’t been making a big deal out of it, Eric and I are planning to get married. We were waiting until all this nonsense with the courts was settled, but the way things are going financially a wedding will have to wait.
This is what is happening in our lives – this is the current deep stressor pressing on Eric and I, trying to keep Maddy safe and still fight the battle legally before going completely broke or homeless first.
It’s money. Isn’t it always? Money that is keeping us from living our best lives, from moving forward, protecting our child, getting married, and at this point possibly pushing us into homelessness and the loss of custody of my little girl to a Man we know to be abusive even if the courts refuse to see it.
We don’t know if you can help. We don’t know if you will help. All we can do is ask that if you can, if you have any money to spare, you know it’s going to keeping a roof over our heads at best, and the hope that a vulnerable disabled child can stay living with the loving couple who protects her needs and that she loves so much.
We would like to ask for moneys toward the purchase of a safe and secure home to raise our daughter in. Funds will also go as needed towards our legal defense to keep her in our custody and as much out of her fathers hands as possible.
If you can, donate. If it helps to think of it as a pre-wedding gift, you can do that too! Please, if you can help our family in any way, we would be so grateful.
Eric, Maddy, and Tracy
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