I am the proud mother of two amazing young men.  My oldest son, Nolan, is 13 years old and wise beyond his years.  Nolan will always hold a special place in my heart, he not only made me a mother he also saved my life.  Nolan was a complete oops baby, meaning he was not planned.  Nolan actually came at a not so good time, or so I thought at the time.  I found out I was pregnant in a Sheetz restroom in the way to a NA meeting!  Oh and was on house arrest for violating probation for another dirty urine test!  Like I said, not a good time.  Long story short, Nolan is my angel, and without a doubt saved my life.  Nolan gave me a reason to live, something to be proud of, this little life totally depended one, and I had a real reason to stay away from drugs!  And that I did for 9 years!  My life went from junkie to a life I once only dreamed of.  Now, Nolan has been through so much in his life.  Being a product of 2 recovering addicts Nolan also has endured the riffles of bad decisions that addicts often make.  After my husband and I split up, due to his relapse, my relapse came shortly after.  My children had a wonderful home that one day was ripped away and they found themselves living in filth, and seeing their mother getting abused by her new boyfriend.  During my relapse Nolan was able to convince his grandma to get him a dirt bike.  This dirt bike was a blessing for him.  When his anxiety surfaced he was able to escape the madness by getting on his bike.  He also began racing, and has won several races, he found his passion.  Recently Nolan's dirt bike has blown up and I can see the effect of him not being able to release his frustration without his bike.  He's shutting down, his anxiety is becoming more frequent, and we're having to do counseling again.  I know he just needs a new bike.  My ex-husband and I have since gotten clean again, I celebrated 3 years just last week and my ex around the same amount of time.  Nolan's father is doing very well he's seen 2 Christmas's in a row, that's a big deal because he missed the five before due to jail time.  I'm asking for help my boy needs his smile bace and I simply can't afford a dirt bike right now, we're lucky to get our bills paid each month.  I know my boys are special and they have helped me overcome so much, now I need to help them get back in the wind.  Thank you all and God bless.  Please be kind we never know what someone is struggling with.