Help Tom Eat $1,000 in Lobster by Christmas
$215 raised
21% of $1k goal
8 contributors
0 days left
Ended Aug 8, 2014

Tom Miller, noted Gainesville Performance Artist and Lobster aficionado has made a pledge to eat $1,000 worth of Lobster by Christmas of 2013. The tails can be Florida, Rock, Maine, Canidian, African, Austrailan, or any other form of Lobster tail. Miller is aware of the glut of Maine Lobsters: These lobsters are now proliferating in unusually warm waters and they are eating indiginous sea life, as well as canibalizing themselves. You can help. It is imperative for the health of our planet's eco-system that Lobsters be eaten in abundance, and who better to do this than Tom Miller? With your help, we can save the planet from the scurge of Global Warming Lobster Zombie Death Bugs. Also, the by-product of this effort will support the Irish butter industry which has declined during the recession. So if you don't hate Irish people and if you disapprove of marine crustaceans engaging in the unholy acts of cannibalism, then this effort is clearly imperative. Your small contributions of $20 to $500 can help Tom help the environment and improve the moral culture of Lobsters. They don't really want to eat each other, they want to eat clams, worms, and sea urchins. Eating lobsters is a sin in the Bible ('detestable' in Leviticus) and we can help Lobsters to not do this any more by empowering Tom Miller to eat them. It makes perfect sense. Can you afford NOT to help? Do you really hate the Irish or the Bible that much? In doing your part, you'll not only be protecting the oceans and our ecology, you'll be supporting the kind of performance art you can't even buy for $1,000, it's so good! So act now! Tom Miller is not going to be on the planet forever. Wouldn't it warm your heart this Christmas to know that you not only saved the planet, but you also had a rare chance to fuel an artist's ecological passion? Reach deep and do the right thing. Don't be the one person in the world that hates our planet. Did you know it wasn't turkey, but lobster that was the original main-meat for Thanksgiving and Christmas? If you don't hate Thanksgiving and Christmas, help Tom rescue the sea...home to the innocent baby sea-lion, baby penguin, and baby bear, and all the other cute snow babies we've come to love and adore on Social Media--the ones that tug on our heart-strings and compel us to buy Tom Miller $1,000 worth of Lobster.


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$500 USD
Tom Invites You to Dinner!
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If you donate $500 bucks, Tom will take you out for Lobster, free of charge. You and Tom can work out ways to help the planet by finding more and more ways to have Tom eat lobster. Tom says, "If you hate Earth, please don't contribute."
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