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I sit here on the east coast thinking of my best friend Alicia Bocquin Linder, knowing the personal pain she has been enduring, the emotional strain it has put on her and her home, and I’m feeling helpless.   Those of you who follow Alicia’s ...

I sit here on the east coast thinking of my best friend Alicia Bocquin Linder, knowing the personal pain she has been enduring, the emotional strain it has put on her and her home, and I’m feeling helpless.   Those of you who follow Alicia’s blog, MY KIND OF WONDERFUL (http://mycharleygirl.weebly.com), know that things with Charley have gotten pretty bad. They actually have been bad for a long time.  Charley started getting physically aggressive over eight years ago.   And who could blame her?  She is a bright and precious being in this imperfect body, just dying to get out! What Charley may not understand, however, is that her sweet Momma has been letting her out since the day she arrived. Alicia has allowed Charley’s light to shine out of her and onto all of us. Not one of us who has met Alicia or Charley can deny that we have seen and felt it.  I have never, and will probably never again, see the true love and devotion this beautiful woman has shown this sweet child.  Alicia is human like all of us (although some might disagree as she often seems Superhuman), and has been knocked down more times than I care to mention.  And just when you think “how will she continue on?” she dusts herself off, says something positive, and keeps on going.  Letting go and giving up on Charley has NEVER been an option for Alicia. That is why this current situation is probably the most painful one she has faced thus far.   Due to Charley’s increased physical aggression and screaming fits lasting HOURS, Alicia has been urged for nearly a year now to consider a home for Charley where she could get the 24 hour care she needs that one mom, no matter how devoted, cannot provide.  She also has to consider the safety of her 1-year-old son, Wesley. Alicia has shared with me that potentially not being able to physically and emotionally meet Charley's needs makes her feel like a complete and total failure.   No parent should have to make decisions like this.  This is, however, her reality.  She needs our love and support right now.  Maybe if we all pitch in she could get some extra respite care to help her out, or perhaps some of you could schedule afternoon visits once a week and give her a hand (and a hug).  Whatever she chooses for Charley, there will be additional financial burdens on top of these unimaginable emotional ones.   Although her husband Keith is amazing, working hard as a middle school teacher to provide for his beautiful family of four, it is hard for any family to make ends meet with one income, and the cost of child care for Wesley outweighs the income Alicia could draw in at this time.   I know this family has touched each and every one of us.  You don’t have to give a lot, just the fact that we can all show our love and support to her in a tangible way will fill her spirit, which she so desperately needs right now. She has no idea that I’m doing this, but she needs to know she is amazing, that she isn’t giving up on Charley, that she isn’t a failure, that we are here for her, and that she can get through this AND be there for Wesley too. 

Alicia, you and your family are loved.  We are here for you.  You are never alone and everything you have done has been seen and continues to shine on us! You have done an amazing job, and it is OK if you need some help with your precious girl.  Whatever you decide, we stand by you.

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