Michael loved the game of basketball despite the fact that he never played organized ball. He came to me as a high school player with plenty of talent and a great heart. His work ethic was exceptional, other players followed him as he was a good teammate and affable. Michael had two Achilles heals. First was his propensity to use Marijuana. I could never tell when he was "high" but some of his teammates could. After practice one day some of his teammates came up to me and said, "Michael was high at practice today."  Our 'no substance abuse' policy had been discussed as a team and now it was time for a one on one with Michael. Michael denied using at first but deeper into the conversation he opened up about his home life. His dad had been in jail since he was eight years old and was not getting out any time soon. He bounced around homes from his grandparents, to his mom's to his older sister's place. All of them used marijuana, or more potent substances, as a way of coping with their struggles. "Coach, I really don't want to use but it's just too hard not to when the people I'm around push me to do it."  This wasn't a case of a teenager liking to party or wanting to use to be cool, fit in or be rebellious. It was a matter of coping the best way he knew how to get through the day. Michael's other issue was that he did not like anyone telling him what to do - more pointedly, when Michael was wrong on the court where emotions ran high, he didn't like his teammates or me, telling him what to do. Confrontation was inevitable and sometimes got ugly. From storming out of the gym to starting fights he simply lacked the ability to control his anger. He had a learned behavior to push back against people who told him what to do. People whom he thought had his best interest in mind but had routinely manipulated him. His family, the foster system, the juvenile care system, etc -  all had disabled any hopes or dreams he ever had. The hypocrisy, egos, and lack of concern for his general welfare from those most of us trust to support us in life had taught him that only he himself could be trusted to look out for #1...Typically, after an incident, he'd be contrite, reasonable and committed to changing the way he dealt with conflict. But the fight or flight instinct in him was on high alert, and thinking during times of emotion or high stress was not his M.O.  Throughout the season Michael improved. As far as I knew he stopped using. The approach he took to improve his game seemed to be transferring over to his approach to life - a hopeful sincerity and a determination to succeed. 

I really enjoyed that season and the time I spent with Michael and looked forward to having him for his senior season where I hoped to help him to learn to trust again, to dream again and to develop the habits to become the leader I knew he could be. Unfortunately, soon after our season together his reality took him to another part of the state. We kept in touch as best we could but as one might predict he was overtaken by his old habits and lack of support. My heart breaks for the Michaels I come across. I know that "but for the Grace of God, there walk I"  I look at them and wonder, "What goes on in his life that is derailing him from having that abundant life that God promises?" Then, the next question I ask myself is, "What can I do about it?" The most sensible answer I can come up with is "Train Godly Leaders." And the best way I am equipped to do that is through team sports as a coach. Teach them, train them, but most importantly BE THAT *KARING ADULT WHO WILL ADVOCATE FOR THEIR FUTURE! You know, if I could've had Michael for another year or better yet, all four years of his time in high school, I believe through the character factory of a quality basketball program and the Grace of God, Michael's habits and thinking patterns could have changed. The trajectory of his life would have been different. He would've graduated high school, possibly even got a college scholarship but certainly be equipped to take control of his life and lead others to become world changers. 

My goal is to have an athletic program where godly leaders are churned out every year not unlike the US Navy churns out SEALs every year. Some may become pastors, businessmen, politicians, teachers, coaches, captains and more, but ALL of them will likely be fathers. Men who will lead their families and communities. I strongly believe in this model. God has mercifully called me to be the godly leader in the lives of boys that can direct them to His perfect will for them.

I believe going to Origins basketball this July is a strong step forward in equipping myself to build godly leaders. If we can make this trip happen we will be investing in the vision of having a program that pumps out 12 godly leaders every year for the next 25 years. Let's redeem boys like Michael. Let's build Abraham Lincolns and leaders like him. Let's prepare boys to become godly fathers. Let's do this!!!

*notice how I spelled caring with a K. Kare Youth League is a sports organization for youth that has shaped me into who I am today. Using K is to signal that the most important part of becoming all we should be is Karing for your soul which begins with a relationship with Jesus Christ.  They work with 1,000 children a year from ages 5-18.  Their proven success gives me the boldness to believe in my vision. Their work inspires me to do my work.

If you want to support the mission i've expressed above, give money to them first.

with Kare,

Todd