I made plans to go up just to talk to him check on kids but mom said that itd only get worse in court or his s.o wouldn't have let me in. I was always welcome to accompany kiddos like I used to when his visitation over rode our lives for a time.
The first and only time I had met his new women was when auntie said the kids were physically held in center of argument amongst the adults, they don't belong there so I came up to get them out while my mom and their dad were screaming at one another she had screamed at me 'you need to go back to wherever the fuck you came from' the argue they were having got redirected when my mom defended me like she does for any child hers or not. only to have him snap on her for going at s.o like that regardless of how out of place she was. I was told no I couldn't. I went for ride returning to hear her tossing an I'm sorry at me explaining how she didn't know it and her protectiveness wasn't meant as a attack. I had to informed her that her honey had been in my life since I was 3 I knew how he'd respond I knew what to do I've been doing it for years. I get you don't know this family's dynamics worked yet but I was doing what I've always done which was get the children out of that. They have no part in the adults disagreements. I thought she had understood how important they were to me
After his passing his fiancee filed for custody pushing to remove our mom from their lives entirely. Stating in the paperwork how closely bonded her son had became to my brother. I got the beginning paperwork for case and I chose not to respond out of respect for my mother who specifically requested I stay out of it so I did. It took over 2 years for someone remembered I lost them too I got to see sis one time only in 4 years. No calls no texts.
After waiting and waiting for any of adults of situation to remember i miss them too. Reaching out to brothers bio mom, She'd mediation between me and guardian. She'd been arranging to meet with me so I could have time with them but after she'd shown guardian convo, she stopped responding entirely. Direct request to guardian for time with them.. if they didn't want to see me I'd respect it but I'd want to hear that from them. She has yet to respond to any attempt to connect, wa has no laws regarding visitation rights of other relatives. I only got one shot to get this right, if I miss step there's no trying again.
I've been trying to so hard just to be able to be there, I've taken on providing in home care for my aunt unoffically going through process to become official and save up what I can before my birthday comes February. I'm trying my best but I'm falling short. I hate the thought of missing yet another birthday. Sisters 18 next october and my brother turned 10 last september and I can't have them thinking I chose not to be there. They aren't losing their sister too I've spent hours finding not one attorney or lawyer willing to do probono free consultations arent designed to offer full picture. Representation for this I realize something they'll cost me.
Sure, mom wasn't perfect but she'd done best she could . im not our mother. I'm the big sister, I'm supposed to be there when they need someone to talk to with no concern for reprimanding, absence of repercussions, regardless of what they say to me everyone who knows me knows they're safe with me
I'm 24 living with other family members, working to get paid from state. I cant do it on my own Ive always done the helping giving and I'm not good at asking for the help. Im hoping to figure something by birthday so I can be there when my baby sister turns 18 and be able to hand her her gift. I want to be there for every birthday I can. They missed our mom's birthday she cried when she was flatly denied her ordered time with her daughter. I worry so much but there's only so much I can do from here.
