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HELP BOB GET HIS PROSTHETIC LEG, GET OUTDOOR WHEELS AND MOVE TO A WHEELCHAIR ACCESSIBLE APARTMENT
We have collectively started this fundraiser for Bob; our Dad, Grandpa, Cousin, Partner and Friend who is living with diabetes and is now facing his third amputation.
Over the past 6 years, Bob’s health has declined dramatically going from managing through diet to PD at home 24/7, to in and out of ER, being admitted on and off to his recent amputations.
The disease is currently expressing itself with acute renal, liver failure, high blood pressure and debilitating vascular cognitive as well as peripheral artery disease. In November 2018 Bob endured two amputations, first a toe which didn’t heal then soon afterwards, the below the knee amputation.
Bob is now facing the amputation of his other leg which will cause us to have to move again.
The Fundrazr funds will be managed in a trust. For all the details
about Bob's budget and health challenges please scroll to the end.
Read on for Bob's story and letters from our family...
Please help us help Bob.
In the next 1- 6 months, he’s facing new costs for a Prosthetic leg, outdoor electric wheelchair (his current one is ok indoors but can’t go up a hill or keep up with someone walking slowly), a move to a wheelchair accessible apartment, payments on a van with a lift and the ever increasing list of medications that are not covered. We’re posting the details of upcoming expenses below. All contributions will be going into a trust managed by our friend and lawyer - Amanda Rose. We’ll be posting photos and Amanda will be posting updates on how the funds are used. Bob is still hopeful to eventually recover from current challenges in order to meet the requirements to undergo the kidney transplant.
The costs and debt have been piling up and it’s overwhelming. Bob's close circle of family has been helping and his partner Fitu is working 3 side jobs plus her F/T position as a site resident manager, allowing her to care for Bob at home. Until now, we’ve all been pretty quiet about this but it’s just not possible anymore.
Any help you can offer will be a huge help - whether it’s making a donation of any size, commenting below, sharing Bob’s story in person, on the phone, in email or social media. Let’s get Bob’s story to everyone who knows him on the BC coast and beyond.
BOB’S STORY
Those of you who are lucky enough to share in Bob’s life, you know it’s an adventurous one. Fisherman, Father, Friend. Family. Bob was born on February 2nd, 1956 and grew up in Burnaby while he spent his summers fishing in Alert Bay.
As a kid, Bob was fortunate to be invited aboard to join the crew on the Cape Cook by Gilbert Cook Sr.. Eventually young Gilbert took over and he stayed for a few seasons. Bob also crewed salmon on the Jean W., Bruce Luck, Good Partner and the Sleep Robber. He also fished herring on the Jean W, Dawn Treader and Waverley. Bob says, “I ran the Sea Castle and a few other gillnetters. I can’t recall the names but that is just where my brain is going…”
Whether on land or water, Bobby is a hard worker. He takes utmost pride in caring for his family, his children and grandchildren: the loves of his life. He’s the Bob of all trades, and well, master of them, too. While on land Bob is a painter and a carpenter and has done repairs, maintenance and renovations from his own apartments to large condo complexes. He’s known for his attention to meticulous detail...everything must be totally squared off!
While on the water, Bob is in his element. Happy, working hard, visiting and laughing with people on other boats, telling stories and fooling everyone with his jokes - always delivered as true stories with a straight face!
FITU & BOB - OUR CONNECTION
Mine and Bob’s long history began with our grandparents. Our grandfathers were seine fisherman from Alert Bay. Our grandmothers were best friends who raised their children together in a small town and later moved to Vancouver as their families grew in numbers and age so they could attend school in the city.
Our mothers remained friends throughout their lives and raised their children together. Bob and I grew up together, always friends. We both went our separate ways, married others and raised our children only seeing each other at various family events or during the fishing seasons. In 2009, both single, our paths met again; this time we brought with us our huge mixed bag of beautiful children. Now after 11 years, our family includes grandchildren from our kids and our closest friends. As you can see in the photos, the kids are Bob’s joy and they feel the same way.
Dad, love you from Courtney – Honestly, I am not really sure where to start. Not a single day passes by that I don’t think of you, even though I don’t see you as often as I would like. Bey, Maddox, Laila and I miss you daily and wish we lived closer so we could spend more time with you. You have always been the “rock” in my life and I just want you to know that if I lived closer, I would strive to be the “rock” in yours.
You entered my life when I was a baby and even though I was not
biologically your child, you always treated me as though I was. You
raised me as though I was your own and I never questioned that I
wasn’t (besides wondering why my hair was dark and Britt’s and Nick’s
was blond LOL). Even when I learned that you weren’t my biological
father, I never felt that you were anything other than my dad. YOU
were the one who helped teach me to walk, talk, ride a bike, drive,
etc. Through every milestone in my life, YOU were there. YOU were my rock.
Some of my best memories are the times we spent on the fishing
boat. Bringing in the nets, playing with sea creatures, scrubbing the
decks and beautiful sunsets taught me more about life then you will
ever know. Seeing killer whales so close to the boat we could touch
them was such an amazing experience that has remained in my mind all
these years. Although the large storms and trying to find other boats
to tie up to were scary as a child, you always made us feel secure and
safe. I wouldn’t trade these memories in for the world.
I know my teenage years were not easy for anyone, but you
handled them like a champ. I was a terrible teenager, but you NEVER
treated me as such. The nights of me failing to come home, my
dishonesty, and the many bad decisions I made never changed the way
you treated me or felt about me. One of your best attributes is that
you NEVER judge people. Many times during this rough time in my life I
felt judged by people but never by you. No matter what I did or didn’t
do you were always there. I remember the many times you came to find
me and when you did, there were no questions asked. No judgement. No
yelling. You accepted me as I was and never pushed me away. I could
tell you anything without fear of judgement or being in trouble. I
want you to know that without your support during this time, I am not
sure that the outcome would ended up as good as it did. Again, you
were always my rock.
It is because of your support that I am
where I am today – happily married with 2 wonderful kids. Bey
considers you as a father and has the utmost respect for you. Maddox
and Laila ask about grandpa all the time. They always ask how grandpa
is doing and when he will come down to visit next. Maddox especially
understands what grandpa is going through and is so empathetic and
helpful it amazes me.
We all understand this time in your life has taken a physical
and emotional toll on you. Like you always told me “life isn’t easy”.
You have so much support and love that if we all work together, we can
help make your “new” life as easy and enjoyable as possible for you.
I want to say thank you to Fitu. I know this has also been
physically and emotionally hard on you as well. Dad is extremely lucky
to have you in his life. The amount of time you dedicate towards dads
care is incredible and you do it all without any complaint. I know you
are his “rock”. You are one of the most selfless people I know and
from the bottom of my heart, I appreciate everything you have done and
continue to do for my dad. My rock.
For Dad, love Brit - I often reflect on the
continuous presence you have in my life – the days, weeks and years
through which your duty as my father has brought nothing but pure
enjoyment. You are a support of strength, encouragement and
discipline. Your love is endless - you are a man to be admired.
From a young age, I can remember the many hours you spent
playing with me, the thousands of kisses goodnight and the countless
trips out for meals when dinner on the table was “questionable”. I
recognize the moments for which you were and are there – no matter the
sacrifice. You give me all the love, time, care and appreciation that
you have available. I am grateful for the countless phone calls and
advice given when I have no one else to turn to.
As though it was yesterday, I remember you gifting me my first
car and shortly after that helping me shop for the car of my dreams.
Truth be told, I had no idea what the process entailed and was a
little overwhelmed in the moment, but as with every other milestone in
my life you held my hand and walked me through it all. By the end of
the day, I had a car of my own and the freedom to take me where I
needed to go.
That freedom took me to university, where you continued to
provide your infinite support of home cooked meals and a roof over my
head, albeit not always with walls. The day I graduated your sported a
look of “honored father”, one that boasted how proud you were of me
and shouted to the world that you had all the confidence and trust in
it to guide me through to the next journey in my life.
Not many years after that, you waited (not so) patiently outside
of my delivery room where you were blessed with one of the most kind,
loving and caring little boys you will ever have the pleasure of
knowing. I knew right away that the bond between you two would be
special and that your firm and gentle touch was as loving as could be.
Again, those tears in your eyes told me just how proud you were of me
in that particular moment in time.
From there we traveled to Los Cabos where you met me in my suite
to walk me down the aisle on my wedding day. Neither one of us knew
what to do, how slowly we should walk, where we should look or how to
link arms, and just like that the moment flew by. We got to the
gazebo, you blinked back tears and you couldn’t say a word. The
message was clear – you were proud.
Each of the milestones mentioned above, along with many more
occurred as I transitioned from a child to an adult. Each symbolized a
moment when I needed to be guided in order to grow. Your loyalty,
confidence and unconditional support has moved mountains in my life,
and there are still mountains left to move, so don’t think for a
second that your job is done! I need you in the years ahead, and to
play your role with fineness. I need you more than ever.
I often reflect on the continuous presence you have in my life –
the days, weeks and years through which your duty as my father has
brought nothing but pure enjoyment. You are a support of strength,
encouragement and discipline. Your love is endless - you are a man to
be admired.
From Jojo Our Creature
As Carson’s’ nanny, I serendipitously, etc. etc. etc. met Bobby
April 2016. I was the last to know there was an existing established
relationship between my “ward” and Bobby and Fitu. Why are these
people cooing over my sweetie pie in the elevator? How do they know
his name? Why is my sweetie pie responding so lovingly to these
strangers? Thank you, Bobby for… (loving Little as his own / loving me
as his own.)
One random Tuesday, this familiar stranger Bobby invited me and
my sweetie pie to spend the day at the beach, which happen to turn out
to be the first of many.
I am Jody, but I happily spent many warm, sunny beautiful days
as “Brittany” while our sweetie pie vacillated between being Carson in
flesh and nostalgically baby Linden. Other times our sweetie pie was
Baby Nick, other days he was Maddox. Some days I was Courtney. We sure
had to keep an eye on curious Baby Wayne! I hadn’t yet met Bobby’s
children, but I felt a comfortable closeness to each of them. I knew
and felt Carson and I were safe and loved with this familiar
stranger…the three of us journeying through time and space Jody and
Carson, and Wayne and Courtney and Brittany and Nick and Skye and
Maddox and Laila and Linden loved up and safely kept by Bobby, their
Father, their Grandpa…this familiar stranger, my friend.
As Summer turned to Fall things got real: Bobbly learned
feminism and Jody learned to bite her tongue. Let’s face it, social
graces between Bobby and I fell quicker and more plentiful than the
autumn leaves. I gifted Bobby with the privilege of gender politics
and all that is Feminism. I was gifted in return with the ins and outs
of Republicans. Poor Fitu had to share her own living room with Fox
News and Bobby and Jody and our thoughts Hawkins cheesies and our
opinions and for some reason I don’t think either Bobby or I kept
things to a dull roar.
From Deb - Meeting you “My Bob” (as my kids call you
) 6 years ago , we would never have imagined what a great influence
you would have on our life.
All the time you spent with my girls especially Iylah who came
out of her shyness so quickly with you and Fitu, coming over when our
sink flooded in the middle of the night , helping me scrape paint off
my window sills due to my lousy painting ability, bbqing us chicken
burgers, being my go to guy when it came to a lot of things and so on.
You will never know how much I appreciate everything you’ve done for
us.
You are a perfect example of a wonderful Grandpa , Dad and
friend is and we are lucky to call you family.
Our love for you
is immense and we adore and support you always! Deb
From Amaya - I don’t even know where do begin. You are awesome all around I wanna say thank you for everything you’ve done for me, my mom, and my sisters. I know it may seem I don’t acknowledge anymore lol but know I love you and appreciate everything you’ve done for us
From Zaida - My Bob there are no words that describe
how much I love you. You have always been there for me like a dad and
I can’t thank you enough.
Thank you for all the chicken burgers,
wheelchair rides, babysitting, and so much more. Know that I am always
here for you cause you were always there for me. Love you.
From Iylah - My Bob. I love you so much you were the
best babysitter ever I miss seeing you every day and cuddling in the
lobby with you.
You always make me laugh and I wish I didn’t
have to go to school so I could hang out with you more
Thank you
for always being there for me love you
Thank you for reading, caring, helping, sharing and being part of Bob’s story! We also want to say that although we’re facing another crisis, we’re grateful for all the love and support - time and money - so far.
As can be well imagined, Bob’s life has made dramatic shift. We are so proud of all our children, grandchildren, friends and family who have joined us in this ever changing journey, it has certainly been challenging and enlightening. We’re very grateful to our huge mixed bag of kids, brothers Kevin and Doug, their wives Carolyn and Sue, Aunt Carol, Uncle David, Aunt Marni and Uncle John as well as friends that were available to visit, offering their loving support both emotionally and financially.
The grandkids have especially been awesome! They’ve displayed loving curiosity while being very patient, never, ok rarely whining, complaining or acting out. Love you all tons and we are so blessed to have you all Skylar, Maddox, Linden, Mikhail, Giaan, Carson and our beautiful Laila. To the eldest; Sky you display such absolute amazing character for a 16 yr old young man, how you help, play and patiently care for the young ones. Mikhail, your FaceTime and pictures from the other side of the world are heartwarmingly precious, we are grateful. All of the parents have done a fabulous job helping the ‘lil ones navigate this difficult time…. you have all done well considering the situation. The grandones don’t fully understand what’s happening although for the youngest ones, it’s the norm.
I am especially grateful to my assistant/friend Deb for her constant reliability and devotion, and to her 3 amazing girls, who all refer to Bob as “their Bob”. Deb has been instrumental in allowing me to devote so much of my time to being there for Bob.
DLL, as always thank you for your ear, heart and brilliant mind. Your calm, quiet presence and the solid support is a precious gift. Tom, thank you as well.
BNG, thank you for always checking in and being there no matter how crazy busy you are. The unconditional love, goofy antics and support along with your generosity means everything.
AJR, as always, eternally grateful for you, your kind heart, sharp legal mind, meals left outside the door, beautiful time consuming and thoughtfully created gifts.
I also would like to especially thank who we lovingly and jokingly refer to as our 42-year-old teenager Jojo. She constantly makes herself available to be with Bob if I’m not. She regularly does grocery runs and has become our garbage fairy (as she leaves she will grab our garbage hauling it to garbage room). Jojo will sit in his room visiting, easily chatting or in silence often doing her crafts as he rests, watches TV or sleeps. Her gentle, loving, subdued inconspicuous concern and charming ways make his days pass easier.
Sandy, your exquisitely blended oils created with love, prayers and healthy blessings continue to benefit Bob, thank you.
I must also acknowledge the boys; for hauling furniture around up and down the building organizing our condo to accommodate Bob’s wheel chair, medical equipment and years of packing boxes of dialysis solution, picking up the slack in all the lil constant things Bob used to do for me at work. Grateful they all live so close by, able to help whenever I call or just randomly drop by. And to our Spring/Summer imported one, Leo you are always willing to help with a huge grin, thank you.
A huge thank you to Courtney and Bey for gifting the indoor electric wheelchair, it’s made your Dad’s life so much easier. Although you both are very busy with careers and kids you make certain to keep in touch. Bey, we are forever grateful for the care, love and support you constantly demonstrate to us, especially Dad.
Wayne, Jr., Gibran and Ale, you have been very generous with your loving support, time and financial assistance these last years, we are grateful.
To Brit, your regular upbeat and positive cheerful calls are heartwarming, we acknowledge that these last years have been extremely difficult for you. Adam we are grateful for your support and care in all that you do, especially the late night delivery of oxygen tanks.
To both Dan and Bryan, thank you for sitting with him regularly while in the hospital giving me a break and allowing me to run home for a shower. Bryan, Dan, Edgar and Jack you continue to be there, still making the effort to take Bob out getting together for a meal.
WHY FUNDRAZR - DETAILS ON WHY BOB NEEDS HELP
Bob receives CPP Disability of $1032 monthly. Together with
Fitu’s income, there is a backwards slide every month and credit has
been maxed out for a while.
Our family Fundrazr campaign is to cover the areas listed
below.
Please consider donating; all funds raised will be held in a
Trust Account set up by a lawyer who’s generously offering her time.
All funds will be allocated towards Bob’s medical expenses, recovery
and transitions to begin living his “new normal” life. Any extra
funds will be used for getting him some part time assistance as Fitu
is working F/T and can’t always be with him.
PROSTHETIC LEG - $4,000-$5,000 (balance of $10,000 paid by Medical)
Bob’s right foot and leg to the knee have already been amputated. Prosthetic leg costs are only partially covered. At this time, funds will only be used for the prosthetic for his right leg. We’re still in the process and will update when we know the exact amount that we’ll need. Fingers crossed that Bob will once again be able to golf, get out on the water again and work around the apartment tower.
OUTDOOR ELECTRIC WHEELCHAIR - $5500
Bob will require an outdoor electric wheelchair. The one he has right now is very low power and not designed to go outside. It can’t make it up even a slight incline. Bob will have a lot more mobility and be able to get out and about, go grocery shopping and enjoy the spring with the grandkids.
MOVING TO A WHEELCHAIR FRIENDLY APARTMENT - $2400
(Moving Expenses $1200 + Rent Increase $200x 6/mo = $1200).
The suite we currently live in is not wheelchair friendly and
Bob has extreme difficulty moving about. The doorways are very
narrow, he’s unable to ride into bathroom as the door opens in, so
he must leave it in the hallway and hop into the bathroom, so far
he’s fallen three times trying to negotiate his way in. Our kitchen
is difficult for Bob to use, whereas the new one will only have one
long bank of cabinets and appliances, not a “U” shape.
Bob has always been a great cook and the new kitchen will make
it possible for him to make food safely.
We will be moving two buildings away to the 4th tower. We are limited as to where we can live because of my work as an onsite resident managing the building. The same developer will have an accessible friendly suite ready for us. We will incur moving expenses along with a $200 monthly rent increase to what we currently pay but with the prognosis of extended rehab and the likelihood of another amputation we don’t have much of a choice.
MEDICATION - $1100 x 6/ mo = $6600
Bob’s dialysis solution are covered by BC Medical. However, we
pay cash for the diabetes and blood pressure medication. A new cost
since March is Bob’s Chinese herbal medicines which are specifically
for circulation for the leg. He’s noticed an improvement and the
medicines will help keep the remaining leg and arms healthy so Bob
can continue to live life to the fullest and do the things he loves
like cooking for the family and playing with the kids.
VAN THAT CAN TRANSPORT THE WHEELCHAIR - $4320
Bob is in and out of the hospital. Plus there are a ton of doctors appointments. In November, we purchased a new van to transport Bob, wheelchair and dialysis equipment and supplies. Payments are $720/ month. $4320 of raised funds will cover 6 months and take a bit of financial pressure off.
The journey to help Bob stabilize and live many more years is ongoing and we’re grateful to all of our family and friends who’ve been there and continue to be.
BOB'S MEDICAL HISTORY
2012 July - Diagnosed with Type 2 diabetes and high blood pressure. At this point all was blood work and symptoms were an indication that Bob was hopeful to control the symptoms with diet and medicine.
2013 Diabetes controlled with medications and diet adjustments as was blood pressure. Losing sensation in feet due to diabetic neuropathy, onset of almost constant nausea accompanied by lack of energy. Back then I began rating his overall well-being as 3-4 good days followed by 1 bad day.
2014 Diagnosed with the beginning stages of kidney failure, altered diet yet again, this was a struggle to balance a diabetic friendly diet with the renal failure diet. i.e. nuts and cheese recommended for diabetics are not permitted for renal patients.
2015 Followed by his nephrologist, Kidney Clinic and several other health professionals - opthamologist, cardiologist, internal medicine, vascular surgeon etc.
2016 March Began daily Peritoneal Dialysis , 6 cycles/exchanges per day. Improved energy with blood work reflecting stabilizing symptoms with treatment.
2017 Peritoneal Dialysis treatment was causing other issues with peritoneal cavity and organs. Diagnosed with hernias caused by PD and the weight of 2000 ml of solution constantly putting pressure on lining and supporting muscles.
Oct - Began the process for preparing for a kidney transplant, unfortunately there were ongoing complications and increasing health issues compromising the viability of a transplant. As quickly as our medical system permitted we began addressing each concern only to constantly find another. The diabetes, although well controlled, was slowly and quietly but effectively destroying his eyes, weakening other organs, affecting the mind and circulation. Renal failure causes the destruction of soft muscle tissue, heart, liver, lungs etc. Liver function tests were showing that the enzymes are unhealthy, showing that there were cysts, scar tissue and the beginning of cirrhosis.
Bob was told that he’ll eventually require a liver transplant as well but it should not interfere with a kidney transplant. His heart has 50% blockage in the upper apex the surgeon will wait to insert stents when it is at 70% and appears to be fine aside from the high blood pressure.
Since 2016 Bob has been closely followed by an Opthamologist, monthly he would see her, for scans, injections and laser treatments to increase eye health and vision. She was successful, Bob’s vision is actually pretty good. The prognosis is also positive as for some time he was very fearful and worried that he’d be blind as well.
Another prerequisite for Bob’s health to remain on the transplant list is that all of his dental work must be certified by a dentist so as not be a risk for future infection, advised that the most effective and absolute way to ensure that would be to have his remaining teeth extracted and be fitted for dentures. Fortunately with the financial help from Kevin and Carolyn, Bob was able to have this done in November 2018. One more step towards transplant, or as Bob would say, "one hop at a time".
2018 Jan- at this point the side effects of peritoneal dialysis were debilitating and Bob remained bed ridden most of the times. Constant nausea and vomiting for 5 months requiring weekly trips to emergency for IVs to increase fluid in body, extreme weight and muscle mass loss.
June - Hemodialysis treatment alleviated the nausea and seemed to overall increase Bob’s energy.
July - Final stages of extensive transplant testing the Kidney Transplant team has determined that although I am a match, because Bob has received transfusions he now has antibodies that will not accept my kidney. We are now included in a program called “Paired Donors” - this program matches a recipient and a donor with another set of participants across Canada, exchanging the available donor kidney.
Aug - Tiny cut on right fourth toe eventually presented signs of gangrene, rounds of antibiotics were unsuccessful to cure infection. As the weeks and months passed without sufficient circulation to support the healing the entire toe was affected.
Sept - During the 3 times weekly in hospital treatments of hemodialysis Bob regularly contracted infections and suffered with horrible stomach issues.
At this point he chose to give PD another try. Once he switched back to daily home administered peritoneal dialysis, stomach issues and infections no longer an issue. Prognosis was to Insert stents to hopefully facilitate healing or at the very least to assist the healing of foot once toe was amputated.
Oct 9 Admitted to RCH
Angioplasty to insert stents in right leg to increase circulation to facilitate healing of toe
October amputated toe
Nov 6 amputated right leg below knee
Now the rush is on to rearrange our condo, purchase all the required mobility equipment to begin our “new normal” lives.
Nov 19 discharged from RCH - the healing process at home was slow but fortunately with being followed weekly by RCH’s awesome team at the Wound and Limb preservation clinic and his Vascular Surgeon Bob’s wound healed with only 2 infections.
2019 Left foot - painful, extremely cold, no circulation discoloured red and no feeling in toes.
Testing to determine blood flow and circulation - 50% of October 2018 results
March - amputation wound sufficiently healed to begin the process to be fitted for a prosthetic leg/foot which will cost $10-12,000. On the wait list for rehab.
March 4 - Chinese Dr. attended Bob at home to diagnose and try to help with lower leg and foot circulation to possibly save it from amputation. Prescribed a twice daily dose of herbs.
March 8 - Vascular Surgeon advises to wait and see, will eventually attempt to insert another stent as a last chance to postpone inevitable lower leg from amputation.
March 23 - Wait list to begin training to perform home hemodialysis.
April 2 - Continued positive results, less pain while continuing the Chinese Medicines.
Thanks again for helping Bob!
Please comment, spread the word and help him reach his Fundrazr
goal, move to the new apartment and get his new leg. Everything
helps and, Bob likes to say, it's "one hop at time!"
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