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Our Story. The beginning.
2004. Love at first sight. We were introduced the day after my 22nd birthday. From our first conversation to the day Brent asked me to marry him (3 months later), I loved him and knew he was the one for me. 2005. We were married within 10 months of meeting, no big ceremony, just us. It wasn’t the dream wedding many girls build from their childhood, but it was the beginning of my dream. 2007. After marriage, we stopped all attempts of birth control and let God take control. From building our home, to growing our careers, we were so busy with “life” that we lost track of time and decided to focus on building our family. 2008. I went to see a doctor due to unexplained numbness from my neck to my legs, after months of testing I was diagnosed with Multiple Sclerosis. This did not stop us from trying to conceive. I voiced concerns to my neurologist about becoming pregnant, in which she explained how the disease reacts positively to pregnancy and with the appropriate treatment post pregnancy there should be limited effects. 2009. With no baby to show, we were referred to a very good, but expensive, Reproductive Endocrinologist. He diagnosed me with PCOS, which is a problem in which a woman’s hormones are out of balance. It can cause problems and make it difficult to get pregnant. So we then began treatment of infertility with Clomid. After many months of Clomid, we decided to take a break. 2011. January 18th, to our surprise, we found out I was pregnant! We were so excited…and scared! Five weeks later, I miscarried. The emotional toll it took on us forced us to wait to see a doctor to begin trying again. 2012. May 15th, while away on a trip visiting a girlfriend, we were looking forward to a great time and got a bottle of wine for a night of girl talk. My period had been MIA (not too uncommon), so I thought to take a test just to be sure. Sitting in her half bath, waiting for the test to show me a big fat negative, it said “PREGNANT”! I was sure surprised! What a miracle! It was hard for me to even dream of this! So, I sent Brent a text with the picture of the test and he called immediately. Again, we were so excited! We contacted my doctor and she ordered a blood test to begin monitoring my hCG. It began right at 500 and slowly went up to 2200 by May 24th...and stopped there. The ultrasound did not show anything and my OB/GYN recommended methotrexate (medication to induce abortion of the pregnancy). Brent and I discussed this option to terminate the pregnancy and could not do so without a positive view of an ectopic pregnancy, even though we knew of the health risk to me we could not terminate a pregnancy that we had wanted for so long!! We waited through the weekend and I went for another ultrasound on Monday the 29th (yes a 3 day weekend!) where the ultrasound technician showed me that the embryo was stuck in my right tube. I was devastated. I could only hold it together long enough to get to my car – then I lost it, for the first time (not the last of course). I had to go directly to the hospital for an emergency surgery to remove the ectopic pregnancy. As the doctor was removing the embryo from my tube, it burst and he removed the entire tube. After the surgery, he told Brent the other tube looked crimped at both ends and did not look like a viable tube – so now I am down 1 tube and potentially another. This was devastating. 2013. After recovery, I decided to look into IVF (In-Vitro Fertilization)– even though it wasn’t covered by insurance, I was willing to do anything to grow my family. For those of you that don't know, IVF can cost an upward of $20K. In doing research, I found a facility associated with the University of Cincinnati that offered a more affordable package called a mini-IVF. This seemed like a perfect option, there was minimal stimulation (less medication, less $$) and perfect for our situation. After lots of testing, the cause of our infertility was only a tubal factor – nothing else. So the mini-IVF seemed to be the perfect option! So we began setting it up. After many, many trips to Cincinnati (consultations, ultrasounds, blood work, etc.), LOTS of injections, we were scheduled for egg retrieval. I had 3 mature eggs (18mm (left), 22mm (right), 21mm (right)) with a 11mm lining – so I was scheduled for a very romantic egg retrieval on February 14th. That day was a blur (I am sure the Valium was a factor), lots of pain and 3 eggs successfully retrieved. The doctor told Brent they were of good quality and were being set up for fertilization. I slept for the rest of that day. The next day, the reproductive specialist called at 10 am to tell me that none of the eggs fertilized and we can schedule a follow up appointment to discuss the next steps. I was devastated. Again. This time is a different way. This is not the part that I had prepared for – I thought I had a few more days to prepare! I ended up taking a week or more off of work for recovery. I really don’t remember.
We have considered alternative avenues; adoption, fostering, embryo adoption – nothing feels right. So, here we are, still dreaming of the day to hold our child.
This page is set up to inform others of the struggles that we have experienced related to infertility. We have continually exhausted all methods and still not received the outcome we have dreamed. I understand, this is in God’s hands and I am willing to accept whatever outcome he has planned for us – however we are not going to give up on our family that easy – God didn’t make us that way.
Infertility is often a subject that is not discussed; people consider it a disability and are generally embarrassed to tell people that they struggle with infertility. I am not embarrassed, I do not hold back from sharing my story. I know that hearing stories from people who have experienced a similar situation gives me hope, it makes me happy for the experiences I have had in the past; the feeling of being pregnant. I know that Brent and I are meant to be parents together; we have much love to share.
We are reaching out to friends, family, and anyone who is willing to support our dream. We have a third of the $15K needed to do a full IVF cycle. Any contribution (large or small, monetary or non-monetary) is more than generous and we appreciate any contribution made!
I have created this page to share our story and make it simple for anyone to give us the support we need throughout this process.
Thank you to everyone who contributes to our needs, we will never be able to express our gratitude.
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