Hi everyone.

My name is Angelique, I'm 35, and have been living in beautiful Cape Town for almost five years now. I love being out in nature. It's soothing and healing. The beach especially, is one of my favourite places. But due to a number of different factors I hardly get to spend time there. None of it is due to not having the time. I have plenty of that. Let me explain.

For most people, going out into the world everyday and doing the basic "adulting" stuff isn't a big deal. For me however, it's filled with anxiety, fear, overwhelm, and confusion. You see, I suffer from PTSD symptoms from a couple of traumatic events that happened over the course of my life. Part and parcel of this is that I suffer from dissociative episodes.

If I'm not able to ground myself (in reality) or there isn't anyone who can help ground me, it can reach the point where I "lose" hours at a time. Which is especially terrifying because anything could have happened during those moments. It's as though my brain just shuts off. I have no memory of what happened during those lost minutes/hours. Dissociation comes on when I'm overwhelmed, scared, or anxious, which happens mostly when I'm out in public. I also have sensory processing difficulties, which means I become overwhelmed very quickly by sights, sounds, and smells. Things that most people aren't even aware of in their environments or that don't bother them, can be excruciating for me. New and highly stimulating environments (something as simple as the grocery store), trigger my dissociation and the PTSD symptoms, ramping up my anxiety, causing sensory overload, disorientation, and even leading to panic attacks.

Doing research, I discovered an amazing group of dogs that do wonderful things for their humans and help them navigate their difficult lives and mitigate their disabilities. Service dogs. And I learned that they could help me too. A service dog can help bring me out of these "episodes", or even help prevent it from happening in the first place, allowing me to stay safe and present. As you know it isn't possible to have someone with me all the time. I would love to be able to take a walk on the beach or just sit and enjoy the scenery and sounds of nature, go to the mall or stores without all the fear or anxiety, etc. Most of the time I can't bring myself to leave the house. Having a canine companion who takes care of me as I take care of him/her will help me get out and live my life to the fullest, and do things that seem impossible or too hard for me now.

Golden Retriever's have always been my favourite breed, and I've wanted one of my own for as long as I can remember. So I wasn't surprised that they're perfect for service work. I've started this fund to help me raise money for my doggie and all the costs that go along with raising a service dog. Some of the tasks he/she will be trained to perform are: helping me maintain a more controlled environment by providing a boundary between me and strangers (I get triggered when people are too close to me); alert me when he/she detects an increase in my anxiety levels and either provide deep tissue pressure using his/her body weight to help calm me and stop or minimize a panic attack, or help guide me to an exit; help me regulate my senses and body and prevent or stop a meltdown; help calm me and bring me back to the present/wake me up during or after a nightmare (there are nights when I'm too afraid to go to sleep), and more.

For the past year I've been doing a dog behaviour course, and also help out at one of the local shelters either with training the dogs or just spending time with them. I don't do this as much as I'd like to, due to the above reasons. I'll be training my own pup, but will also be using a professional trainer. The funds I raise will go towards this (training can take up to 2 years) as well as training supplies, and most important of all: on getting my puppy. When the pups are ready for their forever homes, we'll be doing temperament testing on them to establish which guy/girl will be most suited to, and enjoy, this type of work. The deposit for the waiting list has already been paid for puppy, and the rest is due when I go pick him/her up in November/December.

Please help me get and train my service dog, either by donating or by sharing this campaign. No amount, and no action, is too small.

I'll be posting updates as my journey continues.

Thank you for reading and your support. :)