Shepard has the bluest eyes, the sweetest grin, and the craziest strawberry-blonde hair you will ever see. He is probably also one of the deaf-est people you will ever meet.

I didn't know there were levels of deafness until recently. Did you? The more I learn, the more astounded I am at his hearing loss. One of my first, nagging, gnawing questions upon digesting this news (maybe you have the same question) is this: Why is he deaf? What happened?

I'll give you my insight thus far. I have no idea! As Drs list off questions and run tests, we breeze right through with no illnesses, no genetic history, and no traumatic events to note. Shepard is just very, very deaf.

So though the instigating reason remains a puzzle, the eternal reason is becoming more clear and sweet to me daily.

The healings Jesus did have always resonated with me. Healing is redemption. Physical and spiritual healing are sweet glimpses of the whole Kingdom of God we ache for, seen in part on this side of eternity.

We named our oldest son Ransom (Latin for Redemption) in honor of Jesus' redemptive power that makes the broken whole and the weak strong. A Ransom is a sacrifice that frees another to live and love. Redemption. The Kingdom. I know nothing more exciting and worth seeking first.

We prayed over Shepard's name and chose it in honor of a different aspect of Jesus. He patiently guides those, myself included, who are weak and prone to wander. He gives his life for his sheep. This humble existence and love puts me in awe as I consider the regality Jesus surrendered to live as a stinky man in a dirty little town, among dirty, mean people. But he took us on. Not as a project. Not as a hobby. He took on our flock as a patient Shepherd--in for the long haul, and long nights, and many miles of walking to feed and water us as we learn to follow his voice.

We prayed these attributes over Shep. We believe if our boys choose to follow and honor Jesus, their names have meaning for the journeys he will lead them through.

Why is Shep deaf? To bring God glory. Who knows, but that his deafness is the push we needed to learn ASL as a family. May his newfound Culture and language give him access to a flock we have had so little interaction with until this summer.

Thus far, Jesus hasn't made Shep a hearing child. Through a true miracle in modern technology, we hope cochlear implants will give Shep a sense that is close to hearing, so he can access as much of his world as we can give him.

But, Shep will never be a Hearing child; and though that truth breaks my heart, all at once it also opens a new part of my heart to this joyous idea: Exactly. God made him deaf, and Deaf he will be!

Deaf is more than a sensory impairment. It is a vibrant, fascinating, generally very Jesus-less culture of people who need to meet a humble Shepherd like we did.

Thank you for the love you've poured out on our family. Thank you for the signs you make for Shepard! Thank you for your prayers and understanding, as you may or may not agree with all the decisions we're making for our family. We have felt nothing but love as we have faced hard days and hard questions.