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My Story
My mother died from COPD (chronic obstructive pulmonary disease) in May 2012. By the time of her death my family had lived with her in her home for 3 years. This experience of caring for my mother, and the support strength and growth I gained along the way has convinced me that there needs to be a way to help others through similar hardships. My hope is that the Caregiver Relief Initiative will achieve that goal.
My story begins in the summer of 2009. Shortly after a wonderful three-generation holiday, my mother was admitted to hospital for 6 weeks. Her COPD was now at an advanced stage. I travelled each day back and forth, from home to the hospital, twenty miles??? each way, trying at the same time to look after my three girls, and help my dad be with my mother.
We all knew my mother needed more care when she came home than my father could manage. Selling my parent’s home, having strangers in our home or a move to a nursing home simply weren’t options we would even consider.
Instead my husband and I decided to sell our new home and move our three daughters into my parent’s home to make things work. Through some growing pains we became one big happy family in a small bungalow. We thought this might just be for a year or so and then and we’d move back to our community and build again, because after all in my world family helps family.
My mother was enrolled in an amazing new program for families dealing with COPD educated called INSPIRED. This program supported my mother and me by providing both of us with the skills to keep mom at home even when her COPD flared up. It worked so well that she regained her zest for life and enjoyed three more good years. Meanwhile the tools and knowledge I gained helped me to look after my father when he was diagnosed with advanced lung cancer.
With two sick parents I was running from one room to another. My father died four months later. Even though I had family close by I felt alone caring for my ailing mother. I was coping, but was also exhausted, stressed and sad. I took no time for myself or have weekends away to reconnect with my husband and daughters. Worst of all, I never mourned for my father properly.
My mother died in hospital and in peace and in accordance with all our wishes. Without support I would never have been able to get through the last ten months on my own. I realize that not all caregivers of chronic illnesses do or will receive such great support and education or even a break from time to time, as I did. What I do know is that this level of support can and should be available to all where there is chronic illness in the family home. My goal is to make that a possibility a reality.
It is my mission to help other caregivers care for their loved one by giving them support, education and relief from time to time and thus keep both patient and caregiver at home where they want to be.
By helping caregivers to care we hope to make the most of a stressful time in a family’s life and hopefully provide some wonderful moments to be cherished for a lifetime.
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