My name is Star, I am a 31 year old mother of two, ages 9 and 11, and am requesting the generosity of strangers because I have finally decided to divorce my controlling, abusive husband.  In the 13 years we've been together, I have gone from a strong, independent, self-confident woman to a beaten down and traumatized victim. 

I live under threat of violence and have feared for my life and physical safety many times.  He's laid his gun on the counter facing me while holding me down in the chair and screaming in my face.  On our 5th anniversary, he slapped me, threw me on the bed and covered my face with a pillow.  Among other things, he hit our youngest child across the face and on his leg, leaving marks, and locked our oldest in the garage for not coming out when told.  I have been thrown against walls and into furniture, pushed to the ground, thrown on the bed.  I have called the police and CPS, ultimately to no avail. 

I gave up my entire life for the sake of my husband's career and raising our family.  I thought I was doing the right thing but by the time I realized I had been lied to and manipulated, it was too late.  He has kept our financial information hidden from me, monitored all of my purchases and limited my access to funds, regardless of need.  I am not allowed to go anywhere or do anything without telling him first.  I have to account for every penny spent, complete with receipts, mileage traveled, locations I have been to and people I have talked to.  I am not allowed to work. 

He has isolated me from all friends and family.  He does not allow our children to spend time with my family without his approval and surveillance.  He has moved us into a rural area and away from anyone I had previously associated with.  I am not allowed to have unmonitored phone conversations.

I am not asking for a handout because I'm too lazy to get out and work.  I want to work!  That is who I am; independent and willing to take care of myself and my children.  I will no longer allow this to continue and do have a plan for the future using my business degree, among other things, with an interview already transpired. 

I am an abuse survivor and am trying to leave my abuser, but I need help to file for divorce.  I cannot do it without your help.