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Jillian’s Story
I’m not the type to ask for charity or
financial help, but desperate times call for desperate measures! The
Lord has always provided for our needs and I trust that He will
continue to bless our family. I want to tell all the details of
Jillian’s story so that you might understand better why I am asking
for any donations or financial assistance. We need to raise money for
legal fees ASAP even if it’s only $5, I am hoping that my friends will
share with their friends and we might just do it. She is my youngest
daughter and all you moms out there know the lengths you will go for
your babies (even if they are 27)! She’s doing all the right things
and contacting the many resources available to her. Has been on
numerous job interviews and even had 2 call backs today. We believe
she will have a job in a very short time. In the middle of all this
she was admitted to the hospital with a severe kidney infection and
Bartholomew’s cyst. She’s still pressing forward even through the
pain. We need this money to retain an Indiana lawyer, since Ryan is
petitioning the courts to have her bring the children back to Indiana
even though he is up on felony charges for domestic battery. His abuse
continues and threats are unending now even through the legal system.
PLEASE HELP JILLIAN TO BEAT THE INJUSTICE OF THIS SITUATION AND KEEP
HER AND HER CHILDREN SAFE! If he is allowed to make her return with
the children her life and the children’s are in jeopardy. She would
have to live in a shelter with her baby and toddler and have no means
to support them, moral or financial.
Jillian moved to Plainfield,
IN four years ago for a fresh new start on a new and better life. She
met Ryan shortly after moving there and thought it was almost love at
first sight. She was working cleaning homes and he had a home and a
good job as a sheet metal worker. He was divorced with a young son of
his own. Soon after dating for a short time Jillian gave up her
apartment and moved in with Ryan. She should have gotten a hint when
his step-mother burst into his home one morning after Ryan had left
for work and Jillian was still in bed. She screamed at Jillian,
calling her names and it just about scared Jillian to death, she
didn’t know what to think or what to do… She drove home to Florida
soon after that happened and discovered she was pregnant. Ryan begged
her to come back to him and he promised the incident with his step
mother was taken care of… She proceeded to make a home for her, Ryan
and Ryan’s son, RJ. She took him to school and picked him up, doing
all of the things that a mother would do since his mother always
seemed to have some excuse to not have her son when it was her turn
for visitation. Little did she know that Ryan had previously been
arrested for domestic battery with his ex wife. He had been court
ordered by that incident to attend domestic violence
classes.
The first sign of the physical abuse started not with
hitting but pushing and grabbing. First came the apologies "I am
so sorry I did not mean to grab you so hard but if you had only
listened or did something right the first time we would have not had
to go through that fight." He always claimed it was an accident
or it was Jill’s fault. Ryans family was also well aware of the abuse
that was going on in the home. On one night after ryan bloodied
Jillians nose and split her lips she called Ryans grandparents scared
not knowing who else to turn to because they were the only ones that
had been civil with her. They came over looked at her face and said
“its not that bad”. As time went on the abuse got worse and happened
at a faster pace. He started punching and always making her face
bleed. Also punched his fist through windows and walls. Most ofter
breaking things that were special to Jill. She had no one to turn to.
She was the typical case study in abused women. Instead of calling the
police she would accept his apology that it would never happen again
and even accepted an engagement ring from him. And became pregnant for
the second time.
The final straw and the single most thing that
changed Jillian’s course with him was the night they were finishing
dinner. They had both had a couple of beers and apparently that gave
Jillian the courage to tell him what she thought of his abusive
behavior and how she wanted to come home to her family who loved her
and supported her. The fight was on. There was nothing she could say
or do to end this thing. He began throwing things off of the table and
came within inches of hitting the baby with a plate. Her son was in
his bedroom watching a movie, thank God. He got angrier and angrier
and when she was bending over cleaning up after the mess he made when
he shoved her with such force into a cabinet that it cut her lip and
chin all the way through she received 6 stitches. It was not the first
time he had drawn blood but this time she was really scared. She
remembers being very calm and thinking about a lot of things, was she
right with God, yes, would the children be ok, no, but in the end the
only thing I could pray for was that my children be safe. This time
she called the police and again was afraid for her life and lied to
them saying she fell. The police immediately told her that didn’t
believe her but called an ambulance for her. When she arrived at the
emergency room she called me and told me what happened. I told her to
immediately tell the nurse that she was afraid and get the police
back. She did and they escorted her home into the house to make sure
the children where there. When they found them sleeping they
handcuffed Ryan and took him to jail. As soon as they did she packed
up as much of their clothes into her little Toyota car and headed home
to Florida. Leaving many of her own valuable, personal belongings,
including children’s furniture, toys, etc. She called Child Protective
Services in Indiana to let them know what she was doing. They
contacted Child Protective Services here in Florida who came to my
house to inspect and make she the kids were ok.
Jillian wanted to
add these words: I tell this domestic violence story not for sympathy
but to point out that you never know what the one thing in your life
is going to be that changes you and everything you believe. If someone
had told me I would let myself be hurt in this manner I would have
laughed. I did find out that I am stronger than I thought. I also
found out my children were affected just by the tension and the
feelings. Since getting away they are much calmer and happier. The
biggest thing I found out was that even someone who was smart could
get into a situation like this. I just want anyone who is going
through this to know you can get out and be safe. That is why I tell
my story I am no longer ashamed and if one person can find a way out
because they have heard my story then it is worth all the pain to
relive it. So, if you or someone you love is going through this just
know you are not alone and you are stronger then you think. Today
could be your changing
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