Thank you everybody. Our campaign is now over.
Help GREATLY appreciated for Jessica’s Alopecia
$170 raised
4 contributors
0 days left
Ended Oct 30, 2013
Hello, my name is Jessica… I’m 32-Year old proud mother of 2 (an almost 3 year old girl & 10 month old boy)… I've given a LOT of thought on whether to post, but I have to face reality and it seems that if I write it, it sinks in better... ...

Hello, my name is Jessica… I’m 32-Year old proud mother of 2 (an almost 3 year old girl & 10 month old boy)… I've given a LOT of thought on whether to post, but I have to face reality and it seems that if I write it, it sinks in better... So, here it goes...

Since the age of 13, I can’t remember a time, even in its smallest fraction, that my hair has been worn down… My hair is so thin on top now (this has been the ONLY picture of the top of my head EVER; you are the only ones to have EVER seen it) that it hasn’t seen daylight in over a year… Some people will go through life not knowing what it's like for people to stare at you... Wonder what's wrong with your hair... Why it's always put up... Why it's so thin... I've had fingers pointed, idle stares and flat out questions without regards to my feelings; and I've had enough... I don't NEED to wear a bandana 24/7 anymore... I don't NEED my kids to be made fun of for their Mommy's looks... I don’t NEED to feel ugly on the outside anymore… I don’t love me anymore; I don’t even look in the mirror at myself for the fear of seeing how much more hair is gone… And, what’s the point of wearing make-up when you just have a bandana on so the make-up has no depth?? No, I’m done with all these feelings; I’m done and am pulling the plug… I NEED to be able to walk into a room and not feel 100 eyes on me unless it’s because I look so stunning, lol…

So, after some extensive research, I've been given a treatment option for something that has plagued me for over 19 years... The treatment is expensive, but it's something I need... Again, this is not something that is wanted, I NEED IT... So, now we’re faced with the problem of financing said solution... It was $1,300 down (which we paid) and after the first treatment it will then cost me $350 a month for basically the rest of my life... In hearing the word treatment, I signed up… I didn’t care about the cost… At first… But now it’s starting to really sink in… $350 extra a month… For, quite possibly, the rest of my life… I know something will happen to make us work this HUGE bill into the budget, whether it is me working an extra 10 hours each week or getting an additional job... But then that's MORE time away from my babies... I pray to get a raise soon, but until we get the new rig moved in and have the others forecasted, I may just not get one for awhile... I wish things that were needed in this life were automatically provided... Heck, I wish I didn't have the problem in the first place, lol... But, instead of should've, could've, would'ves, I need to realize that it all is what it is and move to a point of where to go from here... Something WILL come... Somehow I WILL prevail!! I’m sorry for writing a book... I just hope & stay faithful for good things!!

I would also like to say, that since my graduation from boarding school in 1999, I have worked EVERY day of my life and currently work 45-50 hours just to make ends meet… I’ve NEVER asked for anything from anyone, as my pride has too often reared its ugly head (almost to a fault)… I never thought I’d be the person asking for help, but I have to put my big~girl panties on and admit that I NEED help…

I would like to thank each and every person that reads this, whether donating to me or notregards to my feelings; and I've had enough... I don't NEED to wear a bandana 24/7 anymore... I don't NEED my kids to be made fun of for their Mommy's looks... I don’t NEED to feel ugly on the outside anymore… I know my husband loves me, but I don’t love me, I don’t even look in the mirror anymore… What’s the point of wearing make-up when you just have a bandana on so the make-up has no depth?? No, I’m done with all these feelings, I’m done and am pulling the plug… regards to my feelings; and I've had enough... I don't NEED to wear a bandana 24/7 anymore... I don't NEED my kids to be made fun of for their Mommy's looks... I don’t NEED to feel ugly on the outside anymore… I know my husband loves me, but I don’t love me, I don’t even look in the mirror anymore… What’s the point of wearing make-up when you just have a bandana on so the make-up has no depth?? No, I’m done with all these feelings, I’m done and am pulling the plug… regards to my feelings; and I've had enough... I don't NEED to wear a bandana 24/7 anymore... I don't NEED my kids to be made fun of for their Mommy's looks... I don’t NEED to feel ugly on the outside anymore… I know my husband loves me, but I don’t love me, I don’t even look in the mirror anymore… What’s the point of wearing make-up when you just have a bandana on so the make-up has no depth?? No, I’m done with all these feelings, I’m done and am pulling the plug… I NEED to be able to walk into a room and not feel 100 eyes on me unless it’s because I look so stunning, lol… So, after some extensive research, I've been given a treatment option for something that has plagued me for over 15 years... The treatment is expensive, but it's something I need... Again, this is not something that is wanted, I NEED IT... So, now we’re faced with the problem of financing said solution... It was $1,300 down (which we paid) and after the first treatment it will then cost me $350 a month for basically the rest of my life... In hearing the word treatment I signed us up… I didn’t care about the cost… At first… But now it’s starting to really sink in… $350 extra a month… For, quite possibly, the rest of my life… I know something will happen to make us work this HUGE bill into our budget, whether it is me working an extra 10 hours each week or one or both of us getting an additional job... But then that's MORE time away from our babies... I pray to get a raise soon, but until we get the new rig moved in and have the others forecasted, I may just not get one for awhile... I wish things that were needed in this life were auto~magically provided... Heck, I wish I didn't have the problem in the first place, lol... But, instead of should've, could've, would'ves, I need to realize that it all is what it is and move to a point of where to go from here... Something WILL come... Somehow we WILL prevail!! I’m sorry for writing a book... I just hope & stay faithful for good things!! regards to my feelings; and I've had enough... I don't NEED to wear a bandana 24/7 anymore... I don't NEED my kids to be made fun of for their Mommy's looks... I don’t NEED to feel ugly on the outside anymore… I know my husband loves me, but I don’t love me, I don’t even look in the mirror anymore… What’s the point of wearing make-up when you just have a bandana on so the make-up has no depth?? No, I’m done with all these feelings, I’m done and am pulling the plug… I NEED to be able to walk into a room and not feel 100 eyes on me unless it’s because I look so stunning, lol… So, after some extensive research, I've been given a treatment option for something that has plagued me for over 15 years... The treatment is expensive, but it's something I need... Again, this is not something that is wanted, I NEED IT... So, now we’re faced with the problem of financing said solution... It was $1,300 down (which we paid) and after the first treatment it will then cost me $350 a month for basically the rest of my life... In hearing the word treatment I signed us up… I didn’t care about the cost… At first… But now it’s starting to really sink in… $350 extra a month… For, quite possibly, the rest of my life… I know something will happen to make us work this HUGE bill into our budget, whether it is me working an extra 10 hours each week or one or both of us getting an additional job... But then that's MORE time away from our babies... I pray to get a raise soon, but until we get the new rig moved in and have the others forecasted, I may just not get one for awhile... I wish things that were needed in this life were auto~magically provided... Heck, I wish I didn't have the problem in the first place, lol... But, instead of should've, could've, would'ves, I need to realize that it all is what it is and move to a point of where to go from here... Something WILL come... Somehow we WILL prevail!! I’m sorry for writing a book... I just hope & stay faithful for good things!! regards to my feelings; and I've had enough... I don't NEED to wear a bandana 24/7 anymore... I don't NEED my kids to be made fun of for their Mommy's looks... I don’t NEED to feel ugly on the outside anymore… I know my husband loves me, but I don’t love me, I don’t even look in the mirror anymore… What’s the point of wearing make-up when you just have a bandana on so the make-up has no depth?? No, I’m done with all these feelings, I’m done and am pulling the plug… I NEED to be able to walk into a room and not feel 100 eyes on me unless it’s because I look so stunning, lol… So, after some extensive research, I've been given a treatment option for something that has plagued me for over 15 years... The treatment is expensive, but it's something I need... Again, this is not something that is wanted, I NEED IT... So, now we’re faced with the problem of financing said solution... It was $1,300 down (which we paid) and after the first treatment it will then cost me $350 a month for basically the rest of my life... In hearing the word treatment I signed us up… I didn’t care about the cost… At first… But now it’s starting to really sink in… $350 extra a month… For, quite possibly, the rest of my life… I know something will happen to make us work this HUGE bill into our budget, whether it is me working an extra 10 hours each week or one or both of us getting an additional job... But then that's MORE time away from our babies... I pray to get a raise soon, but until we get the new rig moved in and have the others forecasted, I may just not get one for awhile... I wish things that were needed in this life were auto~magically provided... Heck, I wish I didn't have the problem in the first place, lol... But, instead of should've, could've, would'ves, I need to realize that it all is what it is and move to a point of where to go from here... Something WILL come... Somehow we WILL prevail!! I’m sorry for writing a book... I just hope & stay faithful for good things!! hout regards to my feelings; and I've had enough... I don't NEED to wear a bandana 24/7 anymore... I don't NEED my kids to be made fun of for their Mommy's looks... I don’t NEED to feel ugly on the outside anymore… I know my husband loves me, but I don’t love me, I don’t even look in the mirror anymore… What’s the point of wearing make-up when you just have a bandana on so the make-up has no depth?? No, I’m done with all these feelings, I’m done and am pulling the plug… I NEED to be able to walk into a room and not feel 100 eyes on me unless it’s because I look so stunning, lol… So, after some extensive research, I've been given a treatment option for something that has plagued me for over 15 years... The treatment is expensive, but it's something I need... Again, this is not something that is wanted, I NEED IT... So, now we’re faced with the problem of financing said solution... It was $1,300 down (which we paid) and after the first treatment it will then cost me $350 a month for basically the rest of my life... In hearing the word treatment I signed us up… I didn’t care about the cost… At first… But now it’s starting to really sink in… $350 extra a month… For, quite possibly, the rest of my life… I know something will happen to make us work this HUGE bill into our budget, whether it is me working an extra 10 hours each week or one or both of us getting an additional job... But then that's MORE time away from our babies... I pray to get a raise soon, but until we get the new rig moved in and have the others forecasted, I may just not get one for awhile... I wish things that were needed in this life were auto~magically provided... Heck, I wish I didn't have the problem in the first place, lol... But, instead of should've, could've, would'ves, I need to realize that it all is what it is and move to a point of where to go from here... Something WILL come... Somehow we WILL prevail!! I’m sorry for writing a book... I just hope & stay faithful for good things!! I hope everyone has a fantastic Thursday!! One more day my Monday thru Friday'ers!!! , for their thoughts, prayers or donation… All will help in one way or another… I understand that these days do not bring financial security to anyone as, out of all people, I’m admitting I need help… So, in closing, I’d like to offer a sincere thank you for reading this and to anyone donating, PLEASE leave me your contact info (if possible) so that I may send you a personal thank you and pictures of my treatments and their progress (should you want to keep up with me)… Again, thank you for reading my story; it is hard to make yourself so transparent to others, so thank you for reading with an open heart…

 

All my sincerity,

Jessica N.

 

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