To Honor and Thank Barry Barnes
$3,875 raised
42 contributors
4 Years running

Today we are bringing my dad home with hospice. Recently he has had a rough few weeks at Albany Medical Center but for those that know him, you also are aware that he has had a difficult and long cancer-filled life. The medical expenses have been mounting and this is the last thing that we want him worrying about as he finds peace.

For those that do not know his story, he was diagnosed with testicular cancer at 35. He had just established his own business with a wife and two young children. His prognosis was not good but he was fortunate enough to have a young doc out of Sloan who had a treatment idea that worked. However, at this time, he did not have health insurance. He spent the rest of his young life paying back all the enormous medical bills. I never once heard him complain as he worked 12 hour days. To him, it was his responsibility and he was too prideful to ask for help. My father definitely instilled the values of responsibility, hard work, and kindness.

For the past several years, he has battled bladder and kidney cancer, continuing to work and again never complaining about the hand he was dealt. Life has not gone how he had hoped but instead of feeling sorry for himself, he helped others. My father was always helping the people of the community as well as many strangers that had issues as they traveled through town. We always had dinner as a family at 6 pm for my entire young life and I cannot tell you how many times he would get a call and run out because someone needed help. Even as he is lying in this hospital bed, he is still thinking of his 102 year old neighbor who likes the hospital socks. He is going to bring her a pair. He spent a lifetime being sensitive to the plight of others at his own expense, often undercharging people who he knew were struggling.

Now he is struggling and worried about all the medical bills that are piling up: the meds to come home, the ambulance ride he had here and will have to take home. Much hopefully will be covered by insurance but a huge chunk will still remain. He wants to get back to the garage to make some money but we all know that is not happening. We do not want him or my mother to be worried about these issues when the focus should be on time together and intimate moments shared. My sister and I have been helping on this journey but this last round has taken its toll.

Let me be clear. My father will probably kill me if he finds out I did this but deep down I know that it will relieve a big worry for him. He is worried about what will happen to my mom when he leaves us. It will bring him peace to know that she is not burdened by his journey.

Many of you have wanted to help and asked what you could do. Any amount would help lessen the load. We are so thankful for all the outpouring of love and support that has come from those around us.

Love Kelly, Nicky, Donna, and Barry

~After our initial post, people have encountered issues with PayPal and have requested Mom's address to send a donation. It is Barry & Donna Barnes, 8128 State Route 11, PO Box 159, Chateaugay, NY 12920.

Nicky and I can not begin to express our gratitude. My mom is so overwhelmed by all this and is seriously beyond amazed at what people are doing. This is such a tough journey which will leave us all different people when it is over. There will be an emptiness for sure as my dad is such a constant in all our lives. But there is also so many wonderful moments of connection and gratitude. We thank you for all that.

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