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Mamadog is a stray who's been living in the woods behind my
neighborhood, and I've been trying to help her for the past few
months. Unfortunately, her tumor ruptured today. There was no more
time for letting her "come around on her own", so I captured
her and my mom and I took her to the vet. By "capture", I
mean, I snuck a leash around her neck and then literally just picked
her up. No more chit chat! The dog who won't let anyone touch her...I
just picked her up and put her in the car. I can't believe it. She
was shaking like a leaf, and I just held her in my arms and sang to
her. The vet said its 99.9% cancer, based on how it has spread. She
also said she has heart disease and a significant heart murmur, most
likely from heart worms. She suggested "euthanasia can be a
humane option" and taking off the ruptured tumor would only be
buying time.
So, I had to make a tough decision. I was sitting on the floor
of the clinic, with Mamadog in my arms and I just looked at her sweet
little face and thought to myself, "a few more months of
love". Even if it only buys us a few more months, I want her to
go out in a blaze of GLORY---LOVE GLORY! She's had a terrible run of
things and been treated with such horrible cruelty in her life....If
she's going, I want to send her off showered in love and affection. I
want whatever time we can have together to displace her pain with
love, sweet love. It was the only decision I could have made. She's
been fighting so hard...
So, Mamadog is having surgery first thing in the morning, and if
all goes well, she will come home on Saturday. It broke my heart to
leave her at the vet. I don't think she's ever been on a leash before
and I'm certain she's never been to the vet. She was trembling. So, I
held her and sang her song "my girl".
So, please send prayers up for Mamadog. I just don't want her to
be scared. Whatever happens, I just don't want her to be afraid. Or
feel alone. Or unloved.
This is not the happy ending I wanted to share with yall. Not by
a long shot. But, its not over yet, so I'm still hoping. JAI
MA Victory to love...i hope.
Last, but not least, a few very kind people have offered to
contribute to Mamadog's vet bill. This would be greatly appreciated,
as I'm not currently sure how I'm going to make this happen. If you
are able to donate even $5 towards her medical expenses, I would be
beyond grateful. And then you can come visit Mamadog and feel her
special love first-hand. You could even consider this my wedding
present, shower present, and baby present since I've never been
married or had a baby. Helping this sweet honey girl would be the best
present you could ever give me. Thank you!
With gratitude and tears,
Star
UPDATE: Jan 27, 2014. Mamadog had surgery Friday morning and the vet felt it was successful. She came home Saturday morning, and within hours, was in distress. She had blood in her urine and by 5 pm, could not urinate at all. I stayed with her constantly, hoping the antibiotic would kick in and start helping. By Sunday afternoon, her gums were pale and I took her to the Emergency Vet Clinic. After some testing, they determined she was in hemolytic crisis and the blood in her urine was actually hemoglobin. They changed her antibiotic and gave her a steroid. The doctor said its a 50/50 coin toss at this point. She has IMHA & heart disease and arterial damage from heartworms. If she gets better from her current state, we can treat the heartworms, but she has to get better first. She seemed to be feeling better this morning, but isn't doing so good this evening. Please keep your fingers crossed and keep Mamadog in your prayers--she has already suffered enough in her life. Thank you for everyone's support---it means the world to Mamadog and to me. I will keep everyone posted. Thank you.
MAMADOG UPDATE: TUESDAY 6 pm Mamadog had to go back to the hospital this morning...she was weak and not eating or drinking. Mamadog is now home from the hospital! She received a blood transfusion, some hydration, a steroid injection, benedryl and an immunosuppressant. The main issue is IMHA--Immune Mediated Hemolytic Anemia, which means her immune system is attacking her red blood cells. Her blood levels had dropped from Sunday, & her anemia had worsened, and this was the last trick the dr had up his sleeve. THE GREAT NEWS IS---> She is currently HOME and feeling so much better!!! She was even wagging her tail and walking out to the waiting room at the hospital. She even peed, ate, took her medicine and drank some water! She is now resting in her cave in the garage, with two space heaters going. It is actually warmer out there than in my house (thanks, heatpump!) Anyway, this is a beautiful, peaceful and gratitude-filled moment...a much needed reprieve from the past few days.
We're not out the woods...the dr said her body would break down the transfusion cells over the next 4-5 days, and we HOPE her marrow is making lots of blood cells by that time. If it isn't, she'll grow weak and we'll have to consider other decisions. But, for now, she is napping and feeling so much better and just cold-chillin, startin trends! Did you know it is cool to wear neon gauze around your wrist?! That's what's up!
No matter what happens, we've done everything we can do. And by
"we", i mean us...you, me, them, her, him....all of us.
together. I can not thank you enough for all of your support and love
and prayers. It really means the world to me to be showered with such
love and care.....to have everyone lift up Mamadog in thought and
prayer....thank you! She would not have been able to have that blood
transfusion today if it weren't for everyone's support. JAI MA!
Victory to love!!!
Lokah samastah sukhino bhavantu--------"May all beings
everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions
of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that
freedom for all."
<3 Mamadog Update <3 Wednesday January 29 <3
It is with an extremely heavy heart to let you know Mamadog passed away about an hour ago.
She was feeling so much better last night, after the blood transfusion, and even ate, drank water, took her meds, and was resting peacefully. This morning however, I found she had gotten sick in her bed sometime during the night, and the food and medicine was still undigested.
We took her to the vet for a shot of anti-nausea medicine, and when the vet examined her, her temperature was extremely low--93 degrees--and her abdomen was filled with blood. Considering she Just had the transfusion yesterday, all of this was extremely bad news. He said she was going to pass soon, and if allowed to pass naturally, it could take 6 hours or 6 days. Her circulation was so poor that her lips were ice cold. He said there was a 0-1% chance of her bouncing back....that if she was going to bounce back, it would've happened after the transfusion yesterday. We asked every possible question we could, trying to find a loop hole we had not yet explored, and none could be found.
So, we made the hard hard call to not let her suffer anymore.
Tears are flowing down my face as I type this and I am so very sorry to share such heartbreaking news with everyone. I know yall have become invested in Mamadog, and I'm sorry to deliver this news.
We stayed with her until the final moment...I laid on the floor beside her, kissing her sweet face and singing to her...."my girl" and "journey of light". I told her I would never leave her and to that I have remained true. <3 Even at the end, I was just telling her "good girl, mama, I'm here, mama, I'm right here"....
She is going to be cremated and if anyone wants some of her ashes, I would be honored to give or send you some. Maybe you could plant them under a tree or sprinkle them in the ocean or anything else that would honor this sweet, sweet darling girl, who had such a bad hand dealt to her.
Thank you to everyone who contributed so generously to help this darling girl: thank you for your support and love and prayers and time and energy and financial contributions to her vet bills. Your love has been received and is appreciated more than you could ever know. In the end, I think all we really have is LOVE. <3 I don't think there is going to be anything leftover in the Mamadog fund, but if there is, I will donate it to a rescue group.
I am truly heartbroken....I really thought we'd be able to change the course of things for Mamadog. I really thought we had a shot. I will never forget her. She is one of the smartest, sweetest, most loving spirits I have ever encountered in my entire life. I will never forget how sweet it felt to kiss her face and how fulfilling it is to have gained her trust and love. I feel sad and blessed, empty and grateful, heartbroken and also, full of love. I wish it had gone differently.
And still i will say this: JAI MA! JAI! Victory to love! <3 <3
<3 <3 Lokah Samastah Sukhino Bhavantu <3 <3
"May all beings everywhere be happy and free, and may the thoughts, words, and actions of my own life contribute in some way to that happiness and to that freedom for all."
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