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Tami Alexander hasn't added a story.
Hi, there.
My name is Tami, I am 52 years old, and I am disabled. I struggle
with PTSD, panic disorder, and fibromyalgia in addition to numerous
other health issues. I live alone with my Emotional Support Animals,
who help me to cope with my anxiety and give me a reason to keep going
day after day. I try to be as self-sufficient as possible, but it's
not easy. Sometimes, it's downright futile. I have fallen behind on
several bills. It has reached a point where I have to decide which is
more important: making a payment or buying groceries.
So, here's the problem...
In November 2017, I was blessed with a 2002 Subaru Impreza
Outback Sport (with only 40,000 miles on her!) through a dear friend
who could no longer drive but who knew I was in need of a vehicle.
Unbeknownst to either of us, this particular make and model has a
reputation for having head gasket problems. I began to notice a leak
last winter. I had the radiator and thermostat replaced but the car
continued to burn coolant. A recent test confirmed that the head
gaskets are going out. The O2 sensor is also in need of replacement,
but it's the head gasket that needs to be addressed ASAP. If that
goes, it could kill the whole engine.
My local Subaru dealership quoted me $2400 for the work. A trusted auto shop said they could do it for $1800. I have been carrying antifreeze and topping off as the reservoir drains out, and driving as little as possible. This means I can't go out of town and I have to watch how much I drive around the city, keeping an eye on the temperature gauge. Sadly, this also means I cannot go across the state to visit my aging parents -- especially my mother, whose health is in rapid decline. I want to spend as much time with her as I can, while I can.
And another thing...
I need this car to be fully operable not just for me, but also
for my cats. In September 2018, Jeeves was diagnosed with a serious
ear infection. He has had to have monthly treatments and that means
repeated trips to the vet on the far south side of town. The infection
is persistent, and now they are saying he will likely require the
removal of his middle ear. This will leave him deaf on that side. I
have no idea what this will cost but it was almost $500 to flush the
ear and inject antibiotics.
Additionally, I found out that Lily, a cat I had rescued in 2012 and had been treating at home for gum disease, has to have a full extraction of all her teeth. That is going to cost $450. Her breath smells like something died in her mouth and she's always drooling. Animals feel pain differently that people do but even so, this cannot be pleasant for her.
Finally, there's my eldest, Rowan. He came to me in 2004, a newborn with the umbilical cord still attached, and I hand-raised him. He has been my closest and most constant companion ever since. In April, he was diagnosed with stage 2 renal failure and pancreatitis. I am doing my best to take care of him and love him but I know the time is coming when I will have to let him go. This will devastate me on so many levels, I do not even want to think about it.
Over the years, my cats have been in good health except for the
occasional emergency, but now with so many aging and requiring medical
attention all at once, I've hit the proverbial brick wall. I maxed out
my Care Credit on the cats, leaving nothing for me to fall back upon
for my own dental work (I am having a lot of issues with my own
teeth). The vet's office has agreed to let me make payments and while
I am giving them $53/mo, they would prefer I take care of the full
bill as quickly as possible. That's a lot of money when you consider
how little I get per month for Disability. It's a Catch-22, and it's frustrating.
I am struggling to keep a roof over our heads, as well. I am
waiting for word from Grand Rapids Housing Commission as to whether
I'm going to continue receiving Section 8 assistance. Rent is
skyrocketing in this city (most people are charging $600 for a
single room in a shared apartment, and no pets allowed),
and mine keeps going up every year. In 2021, I'll be eligible to get
into a 55+ senior community where my rent will be adjusted by my
income, utilities included. But that's still three years away, and
right now my main concern is the car repairs and the cats.
I am not giving up hope.
I have started taking free classes in yoga and meditation at my local
Gilda's Club. I am also seeing a new therapist. Recently, I received
certification for First and Second Degree Reiki and would like to
continue toward Master. I would love to become a counselor and help
fellow abuse survivors. This would mean going to college to earn a
degree. Some might say, "At your age?" To which I reply,
"Why not?" I believe that assisting others on their journey
towards better health will enable me to heal in many ways, as well. To
quote from
Hamilton,
"For the first time, I'm thinking past tomorrow!" In
a good way.
As for my writing... Over the years, I have had a friend who has
offered to help me get published, and recently I met a group of local
writers who have said they can steer me in the right direction, too.
Unfortunately, I need to be able to travel and attend meetings to
learn more. Getting my car fixed and getting caught up on some of the
bills would make a huge difference. Eventually, I see myself no longer
relying upon government assistance -- and more importantly, I wouldn't
have to keep asking my friends for financial help.
I realize I am not the only person in need. I know others are
struggling. I have asked for help several times in the past, too. It
seems like every time I start to get my feet under me something comes
along to knock me down again. I keep getting back up, though. I can't
stop trying. I want to reach the point where I can do for others. I
want to be able to give back and pay forward. I have a chance
to do that. I just need to get over one more hurdle with the car
repairs ($1800 to replace the head gaskets) and the vet bills ($1000,
which will cover both Jeeves' ear and Lily's oral surgery). At this
point, anything will help -- even if it's just enough to buy food for
another month or to make a payment toward a bill.
My deepest gratitude and blessings to you all. Namaste!
Tami
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