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July 1996 - our lives changed forever. Graham, our brother, son, husband, father, and friend was in the back of a van that rolled off the road. A split second error by the driver and 2 broken vertebrae in Graham’s neck (the two people in the front of the van had no injuries)……left him a quadriplegic. At the time he was self-employed, an avid golfer and martial arts enthusiast, married to his high school sweetheart Karen, the father of three very active boys – ages 2, 3 and 5, and he owned his own multi-level home.
Graham was flown to Vancouver General Hospital’s Spinal Cord Unit where he spent the next 6 weeks. It was here that we all began to understand what the ‘new’ Graham would and would not be able to do….. Karen and the young boys - in a state of shock, had to leave their home and move down to Vancouver to be with him. The stress on all of them was enormous – the boys were reluctant to leave their mother’s side and couldn’t understand what was really happening. The grandparents took turns taking care of the boys so Karen could spend time with Graham, and the rest of us took turns being at the hospital 24/7 so he wouldn’t have to be alone!
It was also at this time that our dad – Gordon – traveling back to Kelowna from Vancouver was in a car accident where he broke his back – luckily he was not paralyzed, but he was put in a brace and told to do nothing for many weeks.
Then to GF Strong Rehabilitation Centre in Vancouver for the next 9 months – learning how to cope and manage within the new constraints. Initially he was on a ventilator as only the top third of his lungs were working. He learned to use a sip and puff system for his wheelchair and to turn on and off his TV and work a computer. Again – as a family – we all tried to help. We made sure that someone was with Graham everyday – until he went to bed.
In April of 1997 Graham and his family returned to Kelowna. They had had to sell their multi-level home and purchase and renovate a new accessible one. They all had many changes and challenges to deal with – new neighbourhood, new friends, new home…..new Graham…..
Although the challenges have been great Graham has maintained an amazingly positive attitude and a tremendous sense of humour. He is a caring husband and a very involved father to his three sons. He was an assistant coach for his sons' soccer teams, he never missed a practice when the boys were in martial arts, and he has supported them in sports and academics through school and into their post-secondary paths.
Graham has had tremendous support from his community and family for the past 18 years - especially from his wife Karen and his parents Gordon and Vivian. The support has come in many ways.
He receives a very modest monthly income from his settlement and a stipend from CISL to pay for the attendants he requires. Karen works full-time at a seniors care centre. These earnings are acceptable for regularly incurred costs – mortgage, food etc., but not enough to cover the costs incurred as a quadriplegic. Unfortunately they have had to borrow and re-mortgage to manage.
As a quadriplegic the needs and costs for virtually everything are much greater than even a paraplegic – wheelchairs are more, beds are more, lifts are needed, a specially equipped van is required…….and the opportunities to assist with the costs are much more limited.
Everyday items have to be converted or adapted to meet his needs. His telephone and his TV have all been adapted to work with a sip and puff system. His home had to be retro-fitted to accommodate his wheelchair - the hallways, the ramps, the bathroom, the doorways, and the bar-type screen doors. Graham has learned how to maneuver his wheelchair with a toggle even though his hands don’t work, he uses his shoulders and upper arms. For his 50th birthday he received an iPad - a truly amazing tool for him - operated with a specialized mouth stick.
Costs are extremely high - a specialized wheelchair accessible van is required - costs range from $40,000 - $70,000 (even for used). His current van is 18 years old with a hydraulic lift - both the van and the lift need constant repairs and neither are any longer 'safe' or worth repairing!
A replacement wheelchair will be between $8000.00 and $10,000, his indoor lift (for getting from his wheelchair to his bed or shower) over $3000, his 18 year old mattress approximately $5000 and his rusting 18 year old shower commode around $3000.
We are asking for help to raise funds for some of Graham’s expenses - in particular - a van - as we all feel his current one is in such 'unsafe' condition and it is such an essential necessity for Graham!
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