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Valerie Jo hasn't added a story.
I am the youngest daughter of my mother. With my sister and niece’s support I want to pursue legal guardianship of our mom/grandmother through the court system as all other avenues have proven to be a dead end. My family does not have the financial means to pull off this endeavor.
We did not realize that she was in such mental decline and becoming dependent on her boyfriend until she married. She kept track of her activities, birthdays and events on a calendar and that wasn’t unusual for her. Nothing seemed terribly amiss, and her boyfriend did not report anything unusual. When she and her boyfriend married in 2016, she had fulfilled few of her responsibilities for the wedding preparations and was confused about numerous things that day. After he proposed to her, she seemed uncertain about it and said to me, "I guess he wants to get married” and, "he's a nice man". I figured, she is a grown adult, it’s not my place to question her decision to accept his proposal, but she did not appear excited or confident in her decision to me.
Changes in abilities, function and personality we have noticed increasing since 2010:
- Getting lost while driving
- Losing items and constantly searching
- Misidentifying her children
- Unable to plan, organize and complete tasks
- Paranoia
- Increased anxiety, loss of self-confidence, unable to regulate emotions
- Unable to recollect how she arrived at a destination, or with whom
- Unable to determine what city she is in while traveling
- Repetitively completing the same task without ability to recollect
- Fixation on traumas from long ago
- Changes in pace of walking
- Inability to recollect when or if she ate a meal
- Inability to count money
- Unable to recollect birthdays and important dates
We are asking for help to ensure that her future is safe and provided for by doing the following:
- Return her to her former primary care physician for a full physical, diagnosis, and appropriate referrals;
- Have an MRI to determine the cause of her deteriorating cognition and executive functions, which could be related to the following: stroke related to a history of high blood pressure, Alzheimer’s, brain tumor or other neurological condition;
- Have home health care to assist with medications and meals;
- Revoke her driver’s license under the guidance and recommendations of her physician;
- Review her finances and ensure they are in order for the long term;
Since she married her primary doctor has become a new physician to her, and he has no baseline for her health or little to no knowledge of her family medical history besides what I have written to him. Us kids have been prevented from speaking to her new physician to inform him of our concerns, ask questions, and advocate for her health and well-being. We have been left to writing letters to communicate our concerns to the physician, but we have no legal authority to do anything for her. We no longer trust her will, other legal, or financial decisions made in recent years.
I am hopeful that with financial assistance to hire an attorney we can help my mother receive a proper diagnosis, thorough medical care, home health care, and the opportunity to be involved in her health needs. I also am hopeful that we can ensure her finances are in proper order for her future needs and care. We as her family want to know she is receiving the best.
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